Am i just PRETENDING to be a good person?

Question

ok so on saturday i was driving around downtown sort of house shopping, i saw one house that was REALLY cool, it wasnt for sale but it was an old creepy gothic looking house that i REALLY wanted to take a picture of, i see an old guy in the front yard struggling to cut down waste high weeds with a lawnmower,cane hung onver his shoulder and using the lawmower for balance, he was really struggling. anyway i ask him if i can get a picture of the house, he was very grumpy bu8t said i could, after taking some pictures i spent sometime talking with him and when i was leaving it occured to me i ought to mow his lawn for him. (sorry for the long story but i feel its all relevant) anyhoo so i spent 5 hours mowing this insane overgrown lawn and alot of that time stopping to listen to him drone on about boring political nonsense i dant care about, i also wound up going inside to fix his DISCUSTING toilet, i saw that he lived in squalor (im out of space i will continue in the next section)

Answer 1

You are a very good person for stepping into this man's life and helping him out. It sounds like he needed someone to help him out and listen to him. I'm guessing the thoughts you've had have cropped up AFTER you agreed to mow the lawn, right? So you started helping for a good reason - to help the man.

I think it's human nature to consider possible outcomes of your actions. Is it possible he could leave the house to you? There's no way to know unless you ask him, which would be in poor taste.  Only you can decide whether continuing to help the man is self-motivated or not. However, either way he is benefiting from what he sees is kind-heartedness. Keep it up and stuff those thoughts of his will to the back of your mind. He could have a cousin who is going to get everything anyway.

What you might do is make him an offer on the house. He probably realizes that the house is in shambles and that even the lawn is too much of a chore for him. Make him a fair offer and go the extra mile to help him find a place that is more manageable for him. It would be up to you to approach this correctly. It may be a welcome idea to the man and he can reap the benefits before he dies and have a happier retirement if he has someone to help him out of his rut.

Answer 2

do you think you are...i think that is most important...and the fact that you are so concerened with the fact that you might not be says to me that you do indeed have a consience and that you really are a good person who thought about a possible opportunity adn helped someone out in a big way...now if you were to do soemthing to make him leave the house to you that would be a different story, but thoughts are just thoughts, they are what motivates us

Answer 3

I think what you did for him really helped him out. He sounds depressed and unable to care for himself. He would probably be better off in a facility where they help the elderly. As far as getting any thing from the man, don't think so since he is ill.  I have a person in my building that is like that. He is also addicted to prescription medication. I know I will get nothing for helping him, but God saw the intent of my heart to help.

Answer 4

You are a good person for doing all those things even if it's for the hope that he might leave you his property. A not good person would ot work that hard for the hope. Do you feel good about helping him and letting him feel a little less lonely?

Answer 5

It's probably wouldn't be nice if you were only helping because you were hoping to get something out of it. But who hasn't had daydreams like that? In part, it's because of those fairytale movies - do a kind deed and all of a sudden you wake to find a check for a million dollars in your mailbox. I think another part of it is simply wanting to be recognized for the hard work you've done.

I think it's very nice of you and your girlfriend to help this man. He obviously needs the help and he probably appreciates the company. Just think of that man, living there alone like that and you two might be the only company he's had in a long time.

Just feel good about yourself, knowing that you've done a good deed and if something more comes of it, that's fine. If not, at least you'll have his gratitude.

Answer 6

First of all, don't beat yourself up too badly because of all the thoughts you had.  At one time or another we all have had some kind of fantasies that appear selfish.  You did a good deed for someone who was in need.  That, in itself says you have a good heart.  And to offer up your girlfriend and yourself to continue to help this guy was also a good deed.  I would suggest that you try and find some organization that might be able to help him.  Does he have family?  Surely there are some agencies to help him with his home repairs and perhaps physically.  You seem to think he might be depressed - that means he needs some mental help.  Do what you can, but don't go overboard unless you are willing to make that kind of committment.  You have to finish what you start.  If you develop a friendship for this man, you'll want to continue to see about him.  That's the nature of people who really do care about others.

Answer 7

First of all, I commend you for getting involved to begin with. Especially when and where it was needed. But I understand your feeling reservations about your motives. Any time your actions don't have a negative influence on someone, now or in the future, it can be considered good. Yet, you feel devious. Yes, the old man wasn't immediately receptive to you, but he has seen a lot of distrustful deeds in his time. And it took time for him to talk to you. Maybe, with a bit more time invested at the house, one day you could explain your fondness for the house. This may be all it takes to put you in a position to get what you want, and for the old man to get something he needs. That is, if he ever goes to a nursing home, he'll need that money. Anyway, as long as all the cards are on the table (metaphorically) there's nothing to feel devious about. But anything can happen, and things change. So don't ever become complacent with a feeling of entitlement. It's a risk, and risks don't always pan out.