Am i over protective with my children?

Question

my mom keeps telling me thst i need to let go a little bit because i have my kids with me all the time. i never let spend the night anywhere except thier grandmas, iprefer to let thier friends come to our house ,i work at thier school ,i teach thier class at church. i only let them play outside in areas where i can see them clearly. they are 6, 8, and9

Answer 1

NO, your a mom and (in my eyes) a great mom. their are alot of mothers these days that just let their kids do what ever, and they think "it will never happen to me" at least you let them spend the night at their grandparents!! i mean if you let them spend the night at a friends you might not know the friends father and or the mothers boyfriend and Lord know what could happen!! and children are snapped up right out of their backyards now!! before i had children i would have said yes your over protective but now that i have my own im right there with you!!!!

Answer 2

Well, it's only fair to let them spend the night at their friends' homes--especially the 9 year old. Not so much the other two. The 8 and 9 year old should be allowed to bike or walk around the block as long as they're with one another. You need to teach your kids the buddy system and show them that you trust them. They need to learn what to do when a stranger approaches them, etc. If you can't learn to trust your kids and trust that you've taught them well, they're going to go berserk when they're fifteen or sixteen. You need to trust that the morals you've taught your kids will stick and the only way to find out is to test it.  

Answer 3

I don't think you are over protective I do the same thing well I don't teach at my daughter's daycare but it's close enough that I can see it from my office window. I do let my daughter go to friends houses for play dates but they live on my street and I have been to their houses before and meet both parents. my daughter also only sleeps at grandparents house that's all she needs right now she is only 3. your mother was raised in a different era where kids could roam free without worry of kidnappers and child molesters we aren't as lucky.

Answer 4

Maybe you should let them have a little freedom but I totally understand why you keep them so close....they are your all and you want to make sure nothing happens to them. I would let them go to friends houses but just set some ground rules and also maybe back off a bit with the other stuff....Im not trying to be mean or anything but they see you at home, school and at church they do need some alone time....just trust your parenting skills and best of luck to you hun

Answer 5

not rly

but you seem rly attached

what are you gonna do when they get older and start wanting to go out and do things?

are you always gonna be therE?

do you check on them in between school hours?

maybe you just let go a little and let them at least go to other ppls houses

but get to know the moms

and have like play dates for you and your child

my bfs mom has anxiety whenever one of her children leaves the house

plus her other son is in the army so i can kinda see why

Answer 6

You are way overprotective. My parents taught me what to do and what not to do and i am one of the most responsible ones out of my friends even without adult supervision or anyone checking up on me. i could basically do whatever i want but i don't because it's not a big deal. i'm not saying that i don't have my faults because there are some things i do even though i shouldn't. overall you have to just let go a little cause if you smother them they will totally over do it as soon as they get a taste of freedom and the longer you put it off the worse it will be.

Answer 7

The world is a scary place these days- you can't let your kids do the things we did as kids. I think its fine as long as the kids dont mind, but once they reach a certain age, they will most likely start to complain and then the protectiveness could really come back to bite you. In the next couple years you might want to start out slowly letting them do a bit more, that way they arent trying to sneak around behind your back to do the things their friends are doing and they want to be involved in.

Answer 8

Nope.

Your mom raised you in a different era.

That's how it is these days.

That's exactly how I am with my kids.

Answer 9

Nope.  I was raised that way and my kids are also raised that way.  Even though I do let my oldest daughter spend the night with friends.  Only if I know their parents really good and usually it's someone I am friends with as well.

Answer 10

I HAVE A 17 YR OLD THAT WILL TELL YOU SHE HAS NEVER SPENT A NIGHT OUT AND I AGREE WITH THE OTHERS THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO GET SOFT MY KIDS GO TO SCHOOL DURING THE WEEK AND STUDY THEIR BOOKS AFTER SCHOOL THEY DON'T GO OUTSIDE DURING THE WEEK ONLY ON WEEKEND WHEN THE WEATHER IS NICE AND EVEN THEN I'M WITH THEM

Answer 11

When we were children, there wasn't the internet, cell phones, cable tv, and immediate knowledge of prowling pedophiles or people that are h**l bent in hurting others just for the sake of getting their jollies.

Keep them close, and I do the SAME thing. Their friends come to OUR house until I know I know them and their parents very well. Some kids never get invited back and he is not allowed to visit their homes unsupervised, or at all.

Once you realize they are to the point where you know that their circle of friends is ok, then you MAY be able to breathe occasionally for outings and sleepovers. That time is not now.

You are a GREAT MOM, but no one ever accused any of us of being PERFECT ones ;-)