Am i over reacting or do i have the right to be mad??

Question

Ok so earlier around 7pm we went to my husbands cousins house to hang out which i didnt want to go in the 1st place because im 8m pregnant and dont feel like going out anymore but i went anyways to makee him happy.ok so his cousins husband and him start drinking and i was fine with it then 10pm came around and i told him i was ready to go because our 1 1/2 yr old was tired becuae her bedtimes 930 and he says ok just 1 more drink and i got kind of mad and just said whatever.then 11 pm came around and i told him ok wer leaving and he said no let him drink 1/2 of a drink again and i said no im going home and he said ok and told me to pick him up and i said no becuase our daughter is going to bed and im not going to wake her from her sleep to pick his drunk *** up and he said fine and walked away.so now im home its 1 am and hes still not here do i have the right to be mad?I fell like he just still needs to grow up and realize he cant be mr party boy anymore he has 2 kids now!!!

Answer 1

too long didnt read it

Answer 2

yes you do have the right to be upset and I would talk with him about his behavior and the changes that should be made for the children's sake.

Answer 3

I don't know why your wanting validation on the internet but I think that cafemom. com would be a great place to post this and get what your looking for.

Answer 4

Well in my opinion it depends on whether he does this all the time. I guess I'm just a diffrent kinda wife. If my husband is going to hang out with his guy friends, most likely i'm not gonna go. It's just not my cup of tea. This lets stay out and have fun without worrying about me wanting to go home. He lets me know before he goes over if he plans on staying or coming home. He doesn't do it all the time and I don't try to control him by telling him where or where he can't go. If he needs me to pick him up I do.

I would be mad if he went out every nite and did this, if its just a few times every once in a while i'm fine. He's his own man and he still deserves to have fun with his friends and not stay home all the time. I'm sure i'll get some thumbs downs but thats ok. I'm just telling it how I see it .

Answer 5

You have the right to be mad. he should have let you go home before when you wanted to go at first. not say just one more c**p. And also let him find his own way home.

Do you trust him?

Let him go out him self and drink. Guys need a guys night to be guys.

answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...  

Answer 6

Aright, here's the answer you are not looking for, but is the truth: you are both wrong, and both of you have the right to be angry/do whatever.

You must realize that when situations like this arise in a relationship, what's really going on is more than meets the eye. It wasn't that he just doesn't respect you and that's why he wanted to drink some more, it isn't because he "is a kid", either. The reason is more complex than that.

He probably feels overwhelmed by being a dad, he probably is feeling like he doesn't go out as much as you used say, 5 years ago, etc.This kind of behavior is a release to him. Everyone needs this kind of thing from time to time. This does not mean that he's doing what he's doing out of disrespect to you nor does it mean that he doesn't care about his child.

At the same time, you probably are also feeling that he's not giving as much attention to you as he used to, and that he feels a bit more distant. So you have every right to get angry with him.

This kind of stuff happens often in a relationship. A sort of spiraling effect wherein one person does something to p**s the other off, and the other just acts differently because now they feel hurt, and so the first person starts acting differently and so on ... this cycle leads to stuff like this as symptom.

So ... what to do? You gotta find a way to solve issues besides this. There's just no other way ... this technique of disagreeing will always be the same for the rest of your life if the same techniques are used over and over.

You can start. Yes, he has to as well, but you can start doing things a little differently, like being nice to him just a little more often, or trying to talk to him in a different way. For example, try something "outside the box" like hanging out on the roof of your house and having a talk about this stuff. This puts people in a different state and you might get different results ... use your imagination.

There is always a way to get the satisfaction you need out of a relationship, you just gotta dig hard and be creative.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I think you have every right to be angry. He has a child and a pregnant wife to care for- he shouldn't be getting drunk anymore. I understand you might be worried about him, though. You should call him, and maybe see if you can pick him up tomorrow, after your daughter wakes up.

Answer 8

That's why I don't have kids and yes I do feel you have the right

Answer 9

huh

Answer 10

yes i believe you have the right to be mad. And i would be one pi$$ed  off B*tch.

Answer 11

Yes, you do have a right to be mad, he was wrong!

Being pregnant, you needed to rest & your 1 1/2 yr old daughter did too. He needs to stop being selfish & take care of his family!

He doesn't realize it now, but doing the right thing & taking care of his family will make him feel a lot better than  'drinking another one'  

will, when he grows up a little he'll see that. Men don't mature as fast mentally as women do, you know.

Answer 12

u have EVERY reason 2 be mad. xx

Answer 13

you have the right to be mad, he needs to stop thinking about just himself. you gave him pleanty of warnings

hope it all works out

Answer 14

Yep hes got baggage and has to wake up and smell the roses or start paying child support for two bags. Yes u should be mad.  

Answer 15

OF COUSE U have a right,tell him now or its gonna happen again

tell him straight next morning

Answer 16

You have the right to be mad. being an alchoholic is not only an addiction that is a big problem, it's a sickness, a diesease. I don't want to scare you or anything, but my father died from it when I was 9. I don't want that to happen to your two kids. Get him some help, alcohol counceling or something. I'm living with my mom and sister in a doublewide mobile home now.

I was three when we left my dad because my mom constantly tried to get him help and he refused. from what I remember, i'd wake up to my parents screaming at eachother.

As I said, though reading this might scare you, don't get scared. As long as you can go into counceling with him (and hopefully, afford it) you have no reason to be scared.  

Answer 17

He needs to grow up and realize he can't be Mr. Party Boy anymore, yet you chose to have not one but two kids with a guy you know to be an immature, irresponsible child.  That's just amazing.

Yes, you have every right to be mad.  At yourself.

Answer 18

You have the right to mad. He needs to grow up and act like a adult.  

Answer 19

I think you do have the right to be mad

Answer 20

you have every right to be mad girl..go to sleep forget his ***..its not healthy for a prego woman to be stressin off stupid stuff..

Answer 21

he has not yet grown up, and shows no consideration for u or his children.i feel sorry for u, as u have a long hard road, if your not going to stand up for yourself.

Answer 22

yea... he has to realize he has a responsibility with a kid.

he has to sacrifice atleast sumthin

Answer 23

you have the right to be mad...in the morning....talk to him about how u have 2 kids nnow...and he needs to start to be more responsible

Answer 24

Growing up doesn't mean stop having fun altogether. I think your over re-acting but you didn't say whether he does it all the time.

Answer 25

He should never walk away from you, that is just plain disrespectful! As if being prego isn't difficult enough! You are such a good mom, and I hope that it makes you feel better to hear it!!

Next time, instead of letting him say "after this beer is done" give a measured time like "five minutes" in a collected voice so that there is no argument. My man does the "after this beer" thing all of the time. It is so annoying!!

Also, make an agreement with him that he should not be walking away from you (or hanging up the phone on you) and you will do the same because it doesn't do anything but make you both feel bad!

Answer 26

yea you do have the right...he is a grown *** man, he has two kids, he has to know his limits

Answer 27

I'm a guy and I agree with you 100%, Ofcourse you have the right to be mad, he's a selfish, arrogant, immature dork!!! you should have just gone home and let him walk. Your a good mum, Cheers.

Answer 28

You should be mad. But try to keep things cool because of the kids. Let it slide this time.  

Answer 29

i think u have the right to be mad he should be more responsible

Answer 30

You absolutley have to right to be pissed, my boyfriend pulls this kind of **** on me all the time. But you cant change men, only they can realize what their doing is wrong. Dont stress out, your pregnant and dont need to worry. Let him make his own stupid childish mistakes.