Am i overreacting or am i being abused?

Question

sorry if this gets long. Nobody understands me.

well i'm the oldest of four and me and the youngest are 12 years apart. 16 and 4. so im like my sister second mom and i babysit a lot. So today we cleaned the garage and had a sale. Nobody came for a good hour so i went in to watch tv and my mom got mad so she told my dad and my dad threatened me physically like he was charging at me to clean my sisters room SPOTLESS and organize her closet so i did. and then i went in the garage to try out the new place in there to watch movies and my sister was left the whole time to my brohter who would NOT watch her. Finally she came in with me and put out all her toys to play. then she grabbed ice cream and i told he no but she was beign a BRAT so she ate it and i was gonna clean up after hte movie. so my parents came home and my brother wanted to watch his movie so my dad came in to pick me up and he saw hte mess my sis made and FLIPPED A COW. He hit me and made me clean and i went in teh kitchen and my bro saw me adn was lke ure a pig! and i a laughed so it woudl SEEM like i didnt care. He told my dad i was laughing and he got mad so i went i my room and listend to some music and wrote and he came in and was like

WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING

and i said what?

and he said WHY ARE YOU SUCH A PIG AND MAKE MESSES

and i said it must suck ahving a daughter who hates you!

and i started bawling. and i neVER EVER cry in front of them. im always smart and steady with comebacks and eh said why and i said

you hit me! and he said he never hit me [he does] and then he said back

OH THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF YOUR CRYING IT HASNT EVEN STARTED. EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND OWN WILL DISAPPEAR YOU WILL SLOWLY AMOUNT TO NOTHING. I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOUR GONE I WISH YOU'D RUN AWAY.

so i said i would i already found a place to live [just coming up with stuff to say] and he said

GOOD I'M GLAD!!! CAN'T WAIT and slammed hte door and went on yelling about me to everyone

sorry its so long again. and i'd really appreciate it if you read it. i have no one to talk to.

is this abusive or am i in the wrong? i really want to run away...

Answer 1

How often does this happen?

Answer 2

I am so sorry. it seems like you do so much and no one cares. and yes i would consider that abuse.maybe you could tell  your friends or your friends parents. i am sure they can give you support.    

Answer 3

WOW!

That's sad!

But you know what didn't you feel better after you wrote this?

I think you did.

I am sure I did!

Well anyways DON'T RUN AWAY!!

All you have to do is you  need to pretend that your Enchanted.

Yea..sounds babyish..

But it isn't .

Look at the bright side,all he wants to do is teach you what to do when you have the chance because later you'll get married (RANDOM) and you're going to have to know that your not gonna be lazy and all that.

Yea in a way you are being abused but he is your father and he knows what he is doing.

Believe me!

Just wait and be patient.

*Hope this helped*  

                                          -Marissa.C

Answer 4

Honey you seriously need to find a professional to talk to about this. This is not right at all! If all you say is true, you need to be taken out of that home soon!  

Answer 5

that's wrong I would say save up then move out when your old enough

Answer 6

Yes that is abuse.Talk to a school counselor or a teacher or find someone you can talk to. Don't run away I understand that is a bad bad bad situation to be living in but running away could be a whole lot worse. Talk to someone at school or a friends parents.

Answer 7

yeah that is abuse....

1.your sisters mess is not your mess regardless of the fact she is four years old i started cleaning my room and stuff at age 2

2.you shouldn't be hit for something that you didn't do

3.so your brother has to be older than four okay he really should clean his own mess

4.it sounds like your father thinks because you are the oldest you should do everything so they can just sit around.

One day you need to just say loud and clear THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER NOT MINE or THIS IS YOUR SON NOT MINE

Hope I helped

                           *Ginny*

Answer 8

If you have AIM you should IM me [inuyasha13b]

I know how you are feeling right now, and its horrible. He is abusing you, although you are the oldest cleaning up after your younger brothers and sisters isn't your job nor is it fair. If he hits you then that's abuse, you should really tell someone about this, I mean an adult. When you go to school tell a consular. You really need to tell someone other than YA!. Whats happens if he goes over the edge one day and really hurts you? Then it would be to late. I know how you feel though and I will allways be here to talk to so feel free to hit me up. [[e-mail]] Thats my email also.

Answer 9

Sounds like your sibs have a lot more pull than should be allowed.

The younger siblings will naturally act-out to get their way.

Since you are stuck sitting for them, you might as well step into the role instead of allowing them to manipulate the situation for their own benefit.

You need to train the little buggers... the old "carrot-and-stick". You can promise little rewards for them to clean up their own rooms, and failing that, you freeze them out when they act out.

Got a digital camera? Next time you clean their rooms, you take a picture with the date & time code showing on it. That way, you show your parents that you did indeed do what was expected and the little rats trashed the place afterward. It is called "evidence". Remote webcams are also good.

At 16 you are old enough to be working part-time after school and on weekends. That few degrees of separation will prove valuable in showing your parents how much they really do depend on you. See if there is a vocational training program at your school.

As to the undue stress and threats by your parents, you really need to talk to a school counselor... you need an advocate that will counsel your parents as well as yourself.  

Answer 10

It sounds like your right and your parents are jerks, by the way if you want a smart comeback, when your parents yell at you about something your sister has done but is really not your fault, make a point of telling them that you are her sister and as such its not your job to parents her and point out what imcompetent parents they are that they need their kid to parent their other kid.

Answer 11

I'm sorry! This is a tough situation. My mom and I HATED each other before I moved out. She would do the same thing, except she never hit me. She would tell me how she wishes I was never born, and that I was a mistake, not a real child of hers. I really didn't do anything about it, except for I moved out when I turned seventeen. If your dad is hitting you, you could always call CPS. Or just wait it out. Email me if you have anymore questions.

Answer 12

My life is just like yours. I am 13 and I do want to run away cause my parents are swearing at me syaing stuff like ***** stuff like that but if i was you i wouldn't run away cause it will just get worse

Answer 13

Wow, I'm speechless..Well, I know my mom my mom can do that sometimes. Just the hitting part, but only like a quick slap. But you're not in the wrong. This is mildly abusive, and it tells me that your dad has a really big temper. I guess that he won't calm down after a calm discussion. Usually for my answers, I always write 'get together and have a calm and polite discussion'. Well, I don't know if that'll work. Maybe you should tell your mom about it. Maybe she'll help you out a bit. If that doesn't work, you could talk to your friends. You could also talk to someone who can actually help you out. Well, just go to my profile and you can email me if you want to get some further advice. That's what I have to offer. I think that it's not too bad, but the results might be unpredictable.

Answer 14

Well abusive means, "intend to insult or offend somebody," and it also means, "involving physical, psychological, or sexual maltreatment." That should give you an idea. I understand you want to run away, but maybe that isn't the answer. I consider you do your part by being a good daughter. God will take care of all the pain your father has caused you. All you can do is forgive him, always. I know you want to let your feelings out, so talk to your mom, or someone else you feel close too. It's okay to cry, but always stay strong. Never say nobody understands you! God knows all the tears and fears you've went through. Look up to him, and he will answer.

Answer 15

God your dad sounds like mine!

Nobody has the right to say those things to you, especially someone who is meant to care about you, like your dad. Is there anybody in your family who can help you? Or maybe a friend. Sounds like you need to get outta there somehow, but I know it can be difficult at our age.

Just try and keep strong, try and get some help off people you trust and give as good as you can get! :) Don't stand for it chick you're worth more than that

Good luck xx

Answer 16

wow, im really sorry but maybe you should leave home for a while (stay at a friends house) for a few weeks and then come back. if it still happens, he doesnt deserve love anymore.

Answer 17

I would definitely call this abuse...

Try writing them a letter. I did that with my mom when I was younger and it worked (she didn't hit me or anything we just argued a lot).. Think it through before you write the letter make sure you sound mature otherwise they'll think you're being whiny. Explain to them how this affects your life right now and how it might affect your future.

"i neVER EVER cry in front of them. im always smart and steady with comebacks" ... also. this sounds like your being a smart *** and parents hate that!!

Try both of these things and if things still don't change I would strongly advice you talking to your school counselor/psychologist if you have one.

Answer 18

I know school hasn't started but you need to talk to some kind of counselor or close friend who you can crash with at their place.

This is abusive and he IS being abusive! You need to call some kind of hot line to explain whats going on in your household pronto before it gets way to serious. And situations like this can turn bad.

This is way out of hand no one deserves treatment like what your going through.

Answer 19

that is definately wrong. :( I feel so bad because I don't know what to tell you! I don't want you to run away, because that's just really not a good idea.

Maybe you can tell your relatives that you feel you are endangered or you just feel like leaving home for a while, and stay with one of them. :(

I feel really bad, but maybe tomorrow it will all be better, I really hope.

Don't listen to him, I know how you feel, being taunted  and abused like that by a father. You're not alone, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I know we don't know each other, but you can message me anytime, and we can talk (:

Answer 20

At first slap, you were abused. There's verbal abuse there too.  

Answer 21

I'm really sorry that that has happened to you  =[ this sounds like your a Cinderella around your house being everyones slave and cleaning up after everyone.  I know that this sounds like what everyone else is saying but that's abuse and you need to talk to a school counsellor or children's helpline of some sort. Whilst I was reading this It sounded allot like the story Chinese Cinderella (which is a really sad story about a girl who got abused all her life by her whole family because he mother died giving birth to her)  anyways enough about books.   Please talk to someone but whatever you do don't runaway your parents could get even more angry when you get back home.  You could just stay in your room for a while and give them the silent treatment (I do that but it doesn't work for long LOL) or you could tell them that you think that you need some space away from them for a while and stay at a friends house.  but please please don't runaway.  Also Your dad sounds like some enemy from school or something when he said OH THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF YOUR CRYING IT HASNT EVEN STARTED. EVERYTHING YOU WANT AND OWN WILL DISAPPEAR YOU WILL SLOWLY AMOUNT TO NOTHING. I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOUR GONE I WISH YOU'D RUN AWAY.

anyway I hope everything goes well all the best

..xx..

Answer 22

I would have to say that you are probably being abused.  I understand parents sometimes hit their kids but I belive you can be emotionally abused as well.  I was a lucky one and my parents were divorced so I could move out.  But from that bad situation I learned a lot.  I learned that when I get older I'm going to be an awsome father and I learned the value of life.  Their seam to be a lot of selfish kids in the world, and I'm sure you can look at them and laugh because of the experience you have to endure.  I know it sucks ***, but when you get older you might look back and be thankful, because it can shape you into a wonderful person.

Answer 23

thts rong... if i evr have a daughter when i get older i wud kill myself if ievr did tht 2 her.... wow

Answer 24

Try and talk to them, maybe it will help.. I know that me and my Mom go through phases like this....my mom very rarely ever gets physical, but i have done things to the point that she gave me a good smack for...but it kinda seems like your dad is going a little over board...but try to talk to them, and see how it turns out.

Answer 25

As soon as school starts, you need to talk to a teacher or counselor from your school or from church- don't be afraid to tell them everything- they are trained and don't worry because they can't tell your parents what you said due to confidentiality agreements. They will be able to help you get assistance- running away is not the answer because you will have to go back home eventually and it might make the punishments worse- abuse is very serious- I am so sorry to hear you are being treated this way- stay strong-  

Answer 26

You're not over reacting, but you're reaction to this is wrong. Just do what they want you to do and avoid being with them. EX: Your dad wants you to clean up. Finish the job and go do what you want to do. Don't talk back to him, he won't listen. EX: He says you're stupid. Don't say that at least you're smarter than him, just whatever he said, don't bother puting it into your head, you've got better things to think about. Avoid mistakes.

Answer 27

thats wrong i'd run away but im on probation so cant but if you run away be careful and dont get caught by the cops if your under 18. and they call you a pig your the 1 picking up the messes rite? so what the **** are they yelling at you about.