Am i pushing my daughter to hard?

Question

i enroled my 4 year old daughter into dance clases for kids and she loves it practrises every day. i have spend alot of money on outfits shoes etc. i also encourage reading writing etc at this age even though shes not started school yet i try to make it like a game but my friend says im pushing her to hard and she should be having fun or else she will turn into a rebel when older. i want the best for my children and want them to have a good chance once older, but am i to pushy.

Answer 1

As long as your daughter is enjoying the activities and what she's doing, then it's fine. Its friendly, you're making it a game.

My father was teaching me to read and write well before I went to school, and the daycare I attended, from the age of two, started teaching us to read and write from the age of three. It gave us all a massive advantage when we started school.

Answer 2

As long as your daughter enjoys these activities and they are not a chore or drudgery to her, then she should be fine.  there is nothing wrong with stimulating a child's active mind.  The younger they are, the easier they can absorb new ideas.

Answer 3

I started reading to my kids when they were born and never stopped by the time they were three they could read small words and write pretty well by 4.  It made it a lot easier on them when they started school and they had less struggles than some of their classmates.  I also let them participate in activities from the time they were old enough IF they wanted to and they had fun.  As long as you are not making your daughter do it then you aren't pushing her but encouraging her.  My oldest is now 16 and yes we butt heads everyonce in awhile when she doesnt want to do what is needed but she is far from rebelious and neither are my other two.  They are all happy, outgoing kids.

Answer 4

dances are a great idea, but writing and reading is a bit early, i think you should wait a year or two, let her have the best from her childhood and be carefree!!!!

Answer 5

You have a lot of good comments here.

My opinion is similar--The dance thing is great--how adorable--I know, I know about the expense thing!

Reading books you both enjoy -try not to overdue, whatever she can tolerate  This was my son's favorite activity--listening to stories, so if your daughter can actually read at this age--she a smart one.

I've seen 5-year-old make up stories, with help from Mom write them down and then read them later.   Big laughs.   I've saved so many of my son's stories and the cute pictures they draw with it.

If she seems happy, keep doing what your doing.  If a friend noticed some signs of stress,  ask her what she saw, and then accept her advice.

Enjoy your daughter--my son is now 13 and it went by really fast!

Answer 6

Is she having fun?

It sounds like she is with the dancing. What about the reading and writing? If she practices those by herself, or asks you to do it with her, then they're fine. If it's always you suggesting it and she never does it by herself...not so fine.

Answer 7

No, as long as she is enjoying herself and is happy then that's ok.

Answer 8

If your daughter likes it, and looks at it as playing and spending bonding time with mommy, no, it's not pushing!

Answer 9

First and foremost, ONLY YOU know your daughter. Well-meaning friends are just that, well-meaning. They don't know your daughter like you do. I can remember enjoying working on math and handwriting as a very young child even before I ever began school. And then, I homeschooled five children. I can honestly say, my children loved learning. They are now in life, post-secondary and secondary learning and they still love it.

You are the BEST person to decide what is right for yours. If your child enjoys dance, that's awesome. She may continue in dance, she may get involved in sports, she may try a million other things, but most importantly, she will enjoy what she is doing and be a very well-rounded child.

Answer 10

Nope, if your daughter is happy, and does not look stressed, then what you are doing is good - in fact, better than unstructured play.  I was given many such opportunities in my childhood, and have very fond memories (and a good education, and a good job) because of the encouragement, teaching and opportunities from my parents.

Answer 11

I don't think you're pushing it as far as the dance classes are concerned.  Some kids are involved in four, five or six activities at this age!   I think it's better to do what you are doing, and focus on only one that she really likes.

As far as the reading and writing is concerned, there's nothing wrong with providing the environment for her to learn to do these things.   Having lots of books around, or going to the library frequently, is a wonderful thing for kids.  As long as you don't act disappointed if she isn't learning "hard" words or writing her letters perfectly, then it's fine to help her prepare for school in this way.

Answer 12

If your daughter is enjoying the dance classes then no you are not pushing her, but if she doesnt want to do it dont push her.  As for the reading and writing as you say you are making a game out of it then again I would say no, as long as you are giving her time and space to play too!!

Answer 13

I dont think that's pushing too hard at all.  You are just trying to give her the best that you can give her. As long as she is happy, I would continue doing what you are doing.

Answer 14

no, but if she needed to rest or wasnt happy, then she would tell you, probably scream her head off, the dance is a great idea, it sets off those endomorphine thingies?? that make you happy, and in a society were childhood obesity is becoming a problem, having some kind of physical outlet is brilliant, it sounds to me like you want to give your kids a head start in life, which is great, but dont push them to hard as they get older, my parents did, and your friends right, i started rebelling and slacking, but they were trying to make me do stuff i had no interest in. your kid likes to dance, she will possibly grow out of it, but if she does, then support her, what kids want most is plenty of support and praise, when it is deserved, most dont get enough except form when they are really young, and thats what makes them less willing to talk to parents in later life (teenage years and such)

but keep her at the dance classes, prove your friend wrong.

Answer 15

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing as long as she is being a normal little girl and playing with her dolls, tea sets, going to the park, and socialising with her friends.

Answer 16

I don't think you are pushing too hard at all.  You are her parent and are guiding her in the right direction. You are also laying down a good foundation  for her in the future for when she does start school.  She will know exactly what to do.  Kudos to you!  :)