Am i ready for a baby?

Question

I'm 17 turning 18 veryyyy sooon I live in my own house its 4 bedroom and i live there with my fiance but my parents bought and pay for alot of it for me. I go to school from 8-12:15 then i come home. My fiance and I were talking about having kids how do you know when your ready for one? I'm extreme good with kids my brother is in the army and his wife had to get some surgery done and i watched the newborn for alittle over a week and it worked out perfectly while i was at school my fiance would watch her then i would come home he would go to work then i would watch her again. I just want to make sure im ready but i dont know how to tell if i am or not.

Answer 1

1. You should not have children until at the very least you can support yourself (if your parents have a great deal of money, then have them set up a trust fund that no one can touch so you may support yourself)

2. Many people are never "ready" to be parents.  Keep this in mind.  There are plenty of people out there twice your age that are not very good parents so don't let anyone tell you that age is the only factor.  What is the factor is your ability and maturity.

3. All children are different.  You are obviously concerned if you will be a good parent and this is a good sign that you probably will be a good parent.  Keep in mind that once you have your child, healthy/sick/fun/cranky/smart/not so smart, it is yours forever.

4. I highly recommend that you actually live a little before having kids.  I was a father at 19 and although it was very difficult in every way, it was the 2nd best thing to every happen in my life.  I was an extremely mature and experieced 19 year old (I did a lot before I had my child).  If you do not have many life experiences yet (and you probably don't) you will end up resenting your child when you can not do things that only a parentless person can do...like go to the movie theatre, take a walk, take a peaceful bath, have a few glasses of wine, etc.

5. Understand why you want a child.  It makes me sick that many people today have children to accessorize their lives (as if the child was a neckless, dog, or other status symbol).  Being a good parent means letting your heart walk around outside with its own will power.  

6. Read The Giving Tree and you will see what it takes to be a parent :-)

Answer 2

You sound pretty ready to me. BUT What about school? Is college in your future? I am having to do school online while my partner goes to class. I find myself doing homework and tests while the baby naps and goes to bed at night. Those times used to be for me- to unwind and maybe nap myself! Nope. No free time anymore. Plus- I turned 21 5 days after my son was born- so, no patrying for me! When I was 17 I moved out on my own too. I had the time of my life. Oh the freedom. I had a blast. I was a senior in h.s. with my own apartment... don't know what I would have done if I had had the baby then! I would have missed out on so much.  

Answer 3

You're having to ask others on a question that you should be talking to your boyfriend about. You're unsure so in my opinion, you're not ready. Also, there is this little thing called marriage, or do you plan to have the baby out of wedlock (illegitimate)? Again, it sounds like you really haven't thought this through.

Answer 4

If you don't know whether or not you're ready, you're not ready. When you ARE ready, you'll know.

Don't be in a rush. It'll happen when it's going to happen. :)

Answer 5

I would really suggest that you set yourself up financially first. Buy all of your own stuff for at least a year, without having to rely on your parents, and then re-assess the situation.

You don't want to end up in a situation where your parents cut you off and you have to get a job either while you are pregnant or have a young baby.

Finish school, get a part-time/full time job, save some money, then think about it, don't rush into it. It is a huge responsibility. And I know it sounds awful and you don't want to think about it, but would you be mature enough to handle a baby if it was born with a mental or physical disability? This is the major issue that parents need to come to terms with, and have the maturity for.

My sister's baby was diagnosed with cancer at 3 months old. My sister was 18 at the time, and she couldn't handle it. She just didn't have the mental maturity to cope with that sort of situation. Her baby was fine, but my sister used to come up excuses for everyone else in the family to look after her daughter while she was sick from the chemo, or to take her to her chemo.

Good luck, I just hope that you really really assess your situation before you make any big decisions. A baby isn't like marriage, you can't a divorce from your children, they're forever.

Answer 6

No one can tell you if YOU are ready to be a mom. You have to look at many aspects and decide if you are ready on your own. There is much more to being ready to be a mom than just being good with kids, it helps a lot, but think about it there are 13 year old that are good with kids. 17 going on 18 sounds a little young, but no one can tell you what is right for you. Some questions to ask yourself is...are you and your fiance financially stable? You said that your mom was still supporting you in some aspects including the home you are living in so that might not be good. Also babies can be very expensive. There is formula, diapers clothes and equipment to buy not to mention doctors visits for prenatal care up through delivery as well as many expected doctors visits for baby after he or she arrives. Also there is an emotional aspect you will have to look at. Once you have a baby it wont be you and your fiance anymore it will be the three of you and while a child can be very rewarding, it comes with its tests for a relationship as well. Having a baby will require a lot of sleepless nights and that may have a negative effect on your school. Also speaking of school are you going to finish and start a career. These are all things you should think about. It is good that you are weighing things before you dive head first into this as it is a huge life changing decision. Yes children can be very rewarding but you have to look at the up along with the downs. Basically you just need to look at all aspects you can think of and sit down with your fiance and decide if this is ultimately something the both of you are ready for at this time in your life.

Answer 7

first you need to get married.  Every child deserves a committed mom and dad, who are also committed to each other.  Kids who come from loving homes where the mom and dad are married to each other have the best chances in life for being healthy, smart, and emotionally healthy.  That is a proven statistic, I'm sure you can find it somewhere on the web.

Answer 8

I suggest you live a bit of a life first.

Don't rush into kids, you are young and you should live your life.

My sister had kids young and she never really gets to do things she loves.

You have your whole life ahead of you, enjoy it while you can : )

Answer 9

I really hope you dont take this the wrong way, I am giving from experience. 18 years old is very young, although you do sound a little mature for your age. I am 20 years old and with a baby girl that I love most in this world, but I do wish I would have waited. It is going to be hard, the expensives are more then you would think, until you are in the situation. You also have to buy clothes and diapers, and toys, childcare and food. You are getting married so congrats! But I would suggest spending time with eachother, going out, having fun because it will be very hard to do that once you are a mother. Once you are out of school and in work, if your co-workers want to go out afterwards you cant. What if you want to go to college, you wont be able too.You may like taking care of babies, because they are cute, but enjoy being 18, 19, 20 and the big 21! You have so much time to become a mom (40 is usually the limit so 22 years you have at least) just relax and enjoy your youth and your soon to be huby.  

Answer 10

You need to ask yourself:  Am I ready to commit most of my life to my child?  To care, to feed, to play with, to educate, to be patient....and be ready to sacrifice my dreams and time for my child?

Feeling ready doesn't mean you are ready to raise a child of your own.  You might not have to sacrifice all that you like to do, but you must be prepared for it.  And be prepared to provide for your child even if you're not providing enough for yourself or for your fiance.  The baby will become your first and foremost priority, else you would be a neglecting parent.  

This is what I tell my girls:  Get your own life going first.  Go to college, get a degree, START YOUR OWN LIFE UP.  When you finally feel that your life is secure, your household is secure, the father of the child is reliable and able to be a father.....then talk about having a child.  To do any less will cause regret and misery at chances lost and possible relationship problems when the baby is here and in your arms.  And what will that do to the child's rearing if you're not ready?  Even more problems while they are growing up.

Give yourself....and your future child....a chance.  Get yourself going in the world first.  Your child will thank you for it.

Answer 11

you see how your parents paid for most of your things your ready when they dont have to do that

Answer 12

If you have to ask your not ready. You know when you are ready. I think you should hold off. Good luck!