Question:

Am i right for not going to my sisters Engagement party??

by  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

okay, this is it: my sister's boyfriend asked me to help him plan the engagement party. it was suppose to be a surprise because he was going to propose to her there. unfortunately, our dad blew it up by telling her the whole plan. despite all of that, he's still sticking to his plan. he is inviting 25 close friends and family. now here's the problem, he asked me to help and every suggestions that i give him he ignored. when i ask for the list of people that he is inviting, i notice most of the people he invited were people that were against their relationship and only 2 of my sisters friends, and four family members are invited. i got upset and said my sister want her 3 high school best friends to be there, he said NO, he dont care cuz hes the one paying for everything. so i was like im not going to an engagement party thats suppose to be with people that the future bride want there but is not and you refusing on adding her close friends. another problem, they have been planning their wedding for a year, they paid everything already. my grandmother and aunts are leaving for a 2weeks vacation, i asked him to postpone the whole thing so all of them can attend, he refuse. instead he is rushing into it. the whole thing is disorganized. when i asked my sister what she thought of the whole plan and the way he's planning everything she says after shes going to talk to him and tell him that she's going to have another engagemnt party, the way she wanted it. now, we could have avoided this by having her (since she know about the proposal) organized it or both of them. so i told my sister that im not going to the engagement party, she says if i dont go then i wont be one of her bridesmaids. am i taking this too far?

 Tags:

   Report

9 ANSWERS


  1. If I were you, I wouls still let my sis know that I still DON'T approve, but I will be there for her 'cause I love her.  I won't be doing much, but I'll be there like a fly o the wall.  I would then give my all to make up for it when SHE throws her real engagement party with the ones she love.


  2. ??  I thought they were getting engaged at this party!!

  3. Its only natural for you to be upset that your sisters boyfriend won't invite any of your sister friends or take any of your suggestions. That being said, he is the one paying for it and if he doesn't want to do the things that you suggest, suck it up and be there to support your sister. She knows that none of the people that she really wants to be there will be, so you need to be there for her to share in her special day.

  4. First consider:  Do you really want to be a bridesmaid?  From the sound of things . . . well, it seems very disorganized with little or no coordination between sister and her fiance.  Personally, I would not want to be a bridesmaid if it is going to be a disorganized mess with no consideration for the feelings of others.

    1.  Sister and/or her fiance should not be hosting an engagement party for themselves.  Just as it is rude for a bride to host her own bridal shower, it is rude for the couple to host their own engagement party.

    2.  The fact that grandma and aunts will be out of town?  Yes, that should be considered.

    3.  Engagement parties are hosted by family members . . . parents, grandparents, older siblings, sometimes aunts and uncles.  The party is held shortly after the couple decide to wed.  The party is used to "announce" the engagement to close friends and family members.  If they have already been planning the wedding for a year and everyone knows it, an engagement party is not appropriate.  It is gift-grubbing on their parts and very greedy.

    4.  If you still want to be a bridesmaid, then go to the party.  But please try to step back and keep away from their planning as much as possible.  If it were me, I would not want to be blamed in any way for the disorganization or for any of their etiquette errors.

  5. ok so now he didn't like your ideas now you are all upset because he is doing it his own way so now you won't go which will really upset your sister. are you taking it too far? yes you are being a brat about it!

    you don't like him that is fine but why spoil her day?

  6. yes, you are taking it too far.  now go to the party, and smile, and be happy for your sister.  you can help plan the other engagement party.  this is NOT your wedding, so just suck it up and go. and, quit your sulking.  Or, just be an immature bratty sister, and don't go to the party, and drop out of being a bridesmaid.  

  7. Although your sister's boyfriend may being selfish with the way he is handling the wedding and party plans, you are being selfish in not supporting your sister and making this a happy time for her.  If her friends aren't going to be there, how will it make it any better if her sister isn't there either.  Get over, attend, and make the best of it.  Throw her a bridal shower with all of those people that you wish could attend the engagement party but weren't invited by the boyfriend.  It seems that you are getting way to involved with your sister's life; take a step back and realize that it is her choice to be in a relationship with this man and you aren't really a part of that.  I don't know how old you all are but it seems that nobody involved in this story is mature enough or close enough to one another to be having a wedding soon.

  8. Yes, I think you're taking it too far. Remember that your beef is with her boyfriend  - not with her. The party needs to be addressed - but between the two of them. There will be many more times where I'm sure you'll be a spectator to an argument where you'll feel in the middle. This will be one of many but its important to remember that you only have one family and blood is thicker than water.  

  9. Yes, you are blowing this out of proportion! I can understand and sympathize with your frustration levels, but on the other hand as you've said there isn't much of her family and friends invited as it is and if you refuse to go there will be even less there to support HER. Unfortunately this is one of those times when you need to put your best face forward and bite your tongue in order to support someone else - regardless of your personal feelings.

    Trust me, been there - done that, many times!

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 9 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.