Am i the only Mother* that has these problems w/her Teen Daughter ??

Question

are there any parents that have went threw this and can help??

teenage 16yr. old daughter who

doesen't seem to understand the real life issues--

constantly seeks attention from boys even if they say very hurtfull things to her--

has become sexualy active (with boys who are friends and mean to her)

will not follow house rules and boundries,

there has been many form's of punishment (includeing taking her personal things away)and NOTHING WORKS

and when asked "what can i do to help you/whats going on"

the reply is ---I DONT KNOW/NOTHING

..the one thing she does not do to me is yell at me and cuss me,like i have herd about in some teens.I feel completely helpless,and a bit' crazy at times for not being able to figure it out..a simple walk around the block turns into meeting boys at the pool~ i have seen some great advise on other issues so i thought mabey i would just ask about this and see if someone else has had similar experiences

thank you :)

Answer 1

She is just a teenager, all or most parents go through this. It sounds like she has done a little bit more than some, and she is doing things she will most likely regret later in life. Honey you need to lay down some rules, and you are her mother not her friend and right now you know what's best for her, so start taking away her privileges, keys if she has a car, cell phone, if you pay it. And tell her when and only when she can Act like a responsible person or adult will you give her back the privileges of one.

Answer 2

Don't worry, you're not the only one.

Your daughter is 16. She's not ready to understand real life. Not completely. She may understand more than you think and is just acting stupid to spite you. Possibly.

If she isn't respecting house rules and boundaries that have been laid out clearly, you need to enforce them by giving punishment when she breaks those rules. No more friends, no more guys, no more cell phone, no more internet, no more shopping--whatever it takes. You have to make sure she understands that if she does this, she will be punished this way. Sometimes it helps to explain why the rule exists in the first place.

If the problems continue, look into some family couseling for you and your daughter.

Answer 3

As a teen daughter I can tell you that you're not the only one.  I did the same things to my mom and I regret it now.  I hurt her alot.  My mother had me start seeing a teen therapist and it helped alot.

Answer 4

You're daughter actually sounds exactly like how I was at 15/16. I was self-absorb, more interested in boys than anything else, sexually active with guys who I really should not have been with, didn't follow rules, and snuck out to go to parties/drink (I never did drugs). Like your daugher I Never yelled at or cussed at my parents, but no matter what my parents did I still wasn't behaving. And they tried it all, grounding me, locking me in my room, taking my personal things away, limiting who I could see, restricting me to just school and work, sending me to my aunt's house, making me see a counselor, etc...

It took me getting involved in a school activity called "silks" (which is like color guard) to start getting it together. It kept me busy and gave me a place away from the guys where I had some girlfriends who I could just relax with.

I'm 19 now and realized a while ago that I was really just using the guys (and letting them use me) because that was my idea of "fitting in".

I can't imagine how hard it is to be the parent in this situation but I do know how frustrating and scary it is to be the kid. We throw ourselves into a world that we really don't understand that revolves around s*x and alcohol (and usually drugs too) because we think its the "cool" thing to do.

Talk to your daughter and try to actually figure out what's going on in her head. Get her involved in a girls only activity or club to give her a "safe" place outside of the house. I also found that dancing (ballroom, not ballet) is a great way to teach a girl to respect herself and her body and to show her that guys should be respecting her and her body.

Good luck with your daughter and feel free to e-mail me if you'd like. ([e-mail])

Answer 5

loads of teenage girls are like that. instead of trying to stop her u have to leave her be its probably a stage and she has to learn and find out byherself. definaely dont move her from her school... try to get close to her. and i agree with he person above share things with her and u can get much closer to her. btw im a teenager too and i would hate to be moved out of my school and friendship crowd and she will end up resenting u if u move her.

Answer 6

trust me you are not alone. I have a teen girl that could find a boy in the middle of a desert. Its just for attention wether it is good or bad its attention from a boy. If she has become sexually active you cant really stop it because you cant be watching her 24 7 just make sure she is aware of what can happen and help her to get protection to prevent as much as you can. Just be there for her when she needs you, that is the best you can do. As long as she continues to respect you and the home she will soon grow out of it , just talk to her and let he know how you feel about it and make her think of herself and what regrets she could have. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 7

I'm a teenager and I sometimes feel bad that my parents are not bothered about my interests. Sometimes these feelings lead to hopelessness. Maybe that's how your daughter got involved in this kind of activity. Maybe you should bring up interesting extra curricular activities in her attention and ask her to try them if she likes. Don't force her though. That might worsen matters. Try to be friendly with her. Share your teen life and experiencess with her. You might want to share your problems with her as well. Maybe that way she will share hers.

I think she need love and attention.

Make her REALIZE that she can do better off without her boyfriends and spend more quality with doing interesting things and with you.

Answer 8

Dont let your child watch disney channel anymore

Answer 9

i am a teenage girl and i sometimes do the same exact thing. [[i dont have s*x with guys though]]. the yelling and cursing sometimes we just cant help it. we dont wanna talk to our parents like that it is we just cant stand it sometimes. if you try and  talk to her she might listen to you. dont yell at her because that will just make her a lot more angry and make her yell and curse at you more.

Answer 10

hmm.. I'm not really an expert, but i did do some research on this when i was taking psychology. When a girl seeks attention from people outside the house(or in your case from other males), she feels like nobody at home is paying attention to her at home or perhaps she feels like shes not getting enough love from parent figures at home. Could be a psychological reason behind this.. i would try talking to a professional and get their opinion on this matter!!

Answer 11

It seems like she has some severe attention seeking problems. If she lets boys who are mean to her have s*x with her then there is something very wrong. If you guys live in  a larger city (lots of delinquent kids, not ur daughter, but maybe the people shes with) then make her switch schools so she can try to get a new crowd of friends. I really think she could use some therapy to take care of her insecuritys which she obviously has. And try to get her away from the people she accociates with now. They will bring nothing but harm to her. Im sorry if i offended you in anyway im just being honest.

Answer 12

I am glad you asked this question because I have been wondering the same thing. My daughter just turned 15 and this past year has been the worst. It started out last summer when the "boyfriend" she had pressured her into having s*x. She has hung out with the worst kids of the school. The pot heads and juvenile delinquents. She had a 17 year old "boyfriend" that quite the 9th grade because 3 times was enough, he was working at Bojangles and she was planning on sneaking out and living with him. I found the letter that she wanted me to find after she was gone, asking me to let her make and learn from her own mistakes. Well I grounded her and forbid her to talk to him. I told her he just wanted one thing from her.

Well the latest was a 18 year old father of 2 under the age of 1. He was talking to my 14 year old(met her through his cousin) as well as still seeing the mom of the babies. My daughter is not allowed to date and again I forbid her to talk to him. I even told him on many occasions to never talk to her again. I caught them talking again and took her phone for a month. She had her phone back less than a month when I get a call from the cops at 3:30 in the morning to come and pick up my daughter(she was suppose to be in the bed). When I get there to pick her up she had been in the car with the 18 year old. When he was pulled over for crossing the center line he had empty beer bottles as well as marajuana dusting in a baggie. I told the cops that I had told him to never talk to her again. He said she called him. i get her home and ask her how many times she has snuck out with him. Three times and one of those times he told her that he didn't wanta friend or a little girl for a girlfriend so she should have s*x with him if she loved him. Well she did. I thought I could file charges but the age of consent for girls in my state is 14. Needless to say I tool her phone for good(gave it to my 19year old son) took her internet, and won't let her get her permit until further notice. He of course denies that he ever had s*x with her and I call him a  pediphile often.

Well after that long and drawn out story I hope it helps a little to know you are not the only one. I feel like I am at the end fo my rope. I didn't just switch her schools, she is now homeschooling. I also put her in counseling but she won't even go now since this last episode. Good luck and hold on to the fact that in a few years they will go off to college or in the least get a job and move out.

Hang in there.