Am i wrong for reacting this way to children fondling?

Question

today i caught my step son touching and being touched by my little cousin my step son 6 and my lil cousin is 4. i separated the two and punished them but how do i tell my lil cousins mother what has happened . my lil cousin had previously showed signs of being "fresh" . Im like really upset by the entire thing i dont know if im blowing my top but now i dont even want my step son to take baths with my 1 year old or anything my husbands away and wont be back to thurs im scared how he'll react too(my lil cousin im baby sitting is boy he has symptoms of delayed development and add) sorry for the long narrative im just really upset by this

Answer 1

you punished them ??? omg seriously some poeple should be allowed to breed

there just kids they dont understand its wrong !!!

kids do touch each other a bit its all part of growing up , its just the nieve religious idea that kids arnt curious , unless it upsets either child let them do it

Answer 2

Tha behavior has 2 causes.

1)Innocent curiousity

2)Behavior that is learned

If it is innocent curiousity the bigger isue you make of it the more problems it can cause.  Increased curiousity, fear and shame

If it is repeating things that he has seen or had done to him, then you have to look at those around him.

Answer 3

hey

you shouldnt have punished them...they are little.

Kids are curious and were not baing naughty, they just needed to be told it wasnt really 'what we do'...i have caught my daughters l*****g tongues (yuck) and my middle daughter was FASCINATED by my sons p***s when he was born and (she is 6) she walked in on my hubby last week first thing in the morning as he was about to get in the shower (so ie he had a hard one!)  and she thought it was hilarious and asked if she could touch it- and why it looked like that...dealt with by telling her of course no she couldnt touch it and yes it wa a bit funny and often men look like that in the morning (daddy said it was because it was full of pee...) and what i am trying to say is that it is no big deal kids touch each other & i  as they are so young no harm is done! I would just tell the parents they were being a bit inappropriate so maybe they just want to reaffirm what you had told them (that is isnt a good idea to touch each others parts!)

kids will be kids  

Answer 4

It's normal.  They both realize that touching feels good and they're likely just curious.  I wouldn't punish them, just let them know that they should be the only ones to touch themselves down there and it should be in their bedrooms.

They can't be 'fresh' at that age because they are only little kids and don't have the capacity to think like adults on sexuality.  It's perfectly normal to be curious why you have something down there that feels good when you touch it.  PERFECTLY normal for little kids to do this stuff, not normal for you to be so stressed about them doing it.  It happened, deal with it effectively so they're not curious anymore.

Answer 5

Has your step son ever been molested? You may want to look into that.

Answer 6

you're not wrong hun reacting the way you did...

I caught my niece doing the same thing to my daughter, I took my niece out of the bath changed her then sat her down... I asked her (even though she was only 4 @ the time) where she had seen that sort of stuff, touching in those area's... She told me that she woke up one night and was watching her uncle (who had babysat her b4 this incident) and his girlfriend... I told her that it was naughty and that she shouldnt do things like that... She asked why (as kids do) I just told her because it upset me... It was probably the worse thing I could have said but she never did it again... From that night I starting teaching my daughter's about their "FLOWER" and how it is their's and no else is allowed to touch it or look @ it... If someone tried to touch it I told them to tell them to stop and that they dont like that, and that they will tell mum I also taught me niece the same thing.. I told my sister and her reaction wasnt one I was expecting, her reply was it's normal for kids to be curious about other kids bodies and not to freak out about it... i cried for days about it... My girls are 3 & 2....

Answer 7

You did the right thing except for the punishment part.  How are they to know what's appropriate?  They're not even related, how are they supposed to figure it out?  Teach them, not punish.

Answer 8

I would have been shocked too, but the reality is that children start exploring themselves at a very young age, at about 2.5yrs.  As they get older,  often their curiosity extends to the opposite s*x.  This is perfectly natural.  However, that does not mean it is socially acceptable and as parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children what is or is not a social norm.  

I don't think that by punishing them or shaming them will achieve your long term goal.  Perhaps you should sit them both down and explain to them what defines them as male/female, a little age appropriate s*x education and use pictures to explain what you are trying to say.  The older of the two may need a little more work to understand what is going on.  Make the discussion conversational, let him ask questions and feel at ease to explore this very sensitive topic.  

Shaming children for exploring their sexuality can result in isolation and feelings of guilt which in turn, if reinforced time again can have negative effects on their views to sexuality and pent up feelings about how to express themselves.

However, you also need to set very clear boundaries and you need to let them know that what they did is not acceptable.Keep it light, keep it easy and allow them both to be able to express themselves.  Let them know that you are open to them and to any future questions they may have.

Good Luck.

  

Answer 9

They are both really young, and sometimes, a lot of times, young kids experiment. I could understand you being upset but I really don't think it is that big of a deal, I would talk to your husband and you could even talk to your step son's physician if you are worried.