Am i wrong or right in this issue? need real advice please?

Question

My mom and family pointed out that i had gray hair and i hadn't noticed yet i felt embarrassed by it . i told my roommate who let me tell is a 49 yr old women about it and then she goes don't listen to you family. your family is only pointing out your flaws that's all you family ever does that does want you to spend money and cover it up! and be happy with you gray hair go gray and she is gray hair and i told her i didn't want to she goes of in a hissy fit saying whats wrong with gray and i just said it wasn't for me and i was like enough about my family please and she would not leave it alone do you think i should go ahead and forgive her or just kind of be cold for a day or two she really hurt me and hard? my fiance and i are younger and we pick up after her what should i do? we can't kick her out until march when the lease expires and she is extremely sensitive how do we approach her?

Answer 1

I think I would let it be for a day or so.  And then talk to your roomie and tell her how you felt about her going on and on about your family, etc.  

Answer 2

Sweetie, you have more than one issue going, so my advice is to separate them out and deal with them individually.

First, you were embarassed by your family. Not what they said, mind you. Sounds like you've been dealing with nosey family members all your life. What they said was, perhaps typical? They're always in your business? I mean, it sounds like a way-close-knit Fam. The kind I grew up with. Please keep in mind that you are who YOU ARE. Your family's opinion means nothing. Or, should mean nothing. After all , it's your life. If you spend it being affected by what they say or think... you are a slave. We make ourselves slaves to others by our own volition. PLease take this from someone who knows, who has been through it, and has defeated it. My Fam doesn't dare provoke me anymore. I don't need them. And all it took was telling them that. That, and I quit going to see them (usually parents are the problem). And I stood my ground. Once they realized I was dead serious, they got on their knees. It's a shame it took that to force them to show me respect. But if that's what it takes, (and I suspect it will in your case), so be it. My life is much better for it, and I don't worry anymore what they think. They worry what I think about them.

As for your roomie, yeah, I'd give it a cool-off. Sounds like she's just like your Fam, except with the opposite opinion. It seems to me that, given her reaction, perhaps you shouldn't share too much private details about you with her anymore. (?) After all, if you're fretting over when you can get her out of your place, I think you've already made your decision about her. I would advise you to never use her again as a sounding board. She obviously can't be trusted. Let it go and let it cool down, and pretend it never happened. March will be here soon.

Take it from an old dog.

I hope all goes well for you.