Am thinking about adoption (UK), does anyone have any experiences or advice that would be helpful? THNX?

Question

Me and my husband already have two children (aged 7 and 5) but feel we would like to 'complete' our family. (Had loads of pregnancy trouble and it is way too risky to be pregnant again). Would appreciate any advice/pointers/experiences that would be helpful. Cheers

Answer 1

Weird answer you may think but.....  Share your thoughts with your doctor if you think you may be overweight....  If your BMI isn't within a certain range you may be asked to lose weight before embarking on the adoption course.  I had to lose two stone.....

Answer 2

You can contact your local adoption agency and get advice.

You can also check out this site it might give you the answers you want.

http://www.bemyparent.org.uk/info-for-fa...

Answer 3

My husband and I were in the same situation as you. Our eldest son died then I had two more son's but the pregnancies were very high risk and I had a hysterectomy at 24 after my third son. We both felt that our family was incomplete, so talked about fostering. We contacted our local social services and went on the fostering course. It was at one of these meeting that we decided that we wanted to go down the adoption route. We went on the course, had all the home visits etc than had to wait to be accepted by the adoption panel. Once we were approved we waited 6 months before our twin daughters were found as a match. After loads of visits, days out and a weekend visit they came to live with us permanently. The girls are 22 now and they have bought so much love and joy into our lives. Both have special needs and we were worried about the affect it would have on our sons. I can honestly say it has made them better people. They adore their sisters. My younger son is going through the adoption process at the moment. He and his wife are adopting an autistic boy. Its actually National Adoption week, here in the UK. I would suggest you contact your local social services department and ask for information. I hope this helps. If you would like to ask any questions please feel free to email me.

Answer 4

Im adopted and i think people like you are wonderful, already you are thinking of an adopted child as completing your 'family' and thats really great. There are so many unwanted children that deserve to be loved and cherished its wonderful that you are considering them instead of just becoming pregnant again. It sounds like an ideal solution for your family.

I have met my birth mother and Father, theres no hard feelings there, but my adoptive Mum and Dad are my parents and special, i may not have grown in my Mums womb but i grew in her heart and she and my Dad are fantastic, we couldn't be closer.

They say adoption is the most rewarding thing they have ever done and i am so lucky and grateful.

Best of luck with it, at times it will be hard but isn't anything in life thats worth doing, don't give up.

Answer 5

You need to contact your local social services adoption and fostering team.  They will speak to you about the process and ask you some questions before advising you whether you should proceed to the next stage.  They will send you out a pack with a form in which you fill in and send back.  A social worker will then arrange to speak to you in person, either in your own home or in the social services offices.  If all goes well the social worker will then put you on some courses - in my area there are four day long courses to attend prior to commencing a home study.  The home study can be intrusive.  They will want to know everything about you from past relationships to finances and will speak to a number of references.  The home studies take a few months to compile, after which you go to panel where a group of people made up of adoptors and adoptees, social workers, doctors etc will decide if your application can be approved.

There is loads of info on the following sites:

http://www.adoptionuk.org/default.asp

https://www.bemyparent.org.uk/

The process from commencing the courses to going to panel should take no more than 8 months as long as their are no problems.  Of course you may then have to wait several months longer to have a child placed with you and up to three years for the adoption to be finalised.

May I suggest that you don't narrow your search too finely.  Asking for a girl under 12 months of age will mean that you will be waiting for a long long time.  Also be aware that the vast majority of children waiting to be adopted do have problems or one kind or another.  Look at the websites above and read everything you can.  

Good luck!