An ex-friend who was convicted of child abuse, told me that it was my fault he did it?

Question

... because he was thinking about me at the time he did it?

What the heck made him say these things?

Answer 1

Sounds like a classic case of denial. It's typical nowadays. Nobody wants to take responsibilty for their own actions. So he is blaming it on you because "there is no way he would do this without a good reason". And it's just like alcoholics, none ever want to admit they are one, and they shouldn't be at A.A.  because thats for people with problems. Same with him, he's in a class with others like him but he is not seeing that he IS one of them.

Answer 2

It's your fault he hit his kid?  Like, "You made me do it?"  Then order him to make you a sandwich.  And he will, as you obviously hold mind control over him.  

What made him say those things?  He's immature and irresponsible.  He's also narcissistic because he thinks that he does no wrong.  I don't know what his crime was, so no comment.  Maybe it didn't fit, maybe it should have been harsher but they didn't have any room for him.  He thinks he's different than the guys he goes to class with?  That's because- and I'm dead serious here- he sees them as actual child abusers and people that NEED anger management.  He doesn't need it, because it wasn't his fault that he hit the kid.  It was yours.  He is actually a good person, that did something bad because you made him.  I swear to God that's how he feels about it.  Good thing he's an ex-friend.  Next time he blames you, point your finger in a goofy way and "command" him to do something.  Then get ready to fight.  He won't like the fact that you think you can make him do something.. except when it's convenient for him to let you make him do something.  

Answer 3

Child abuse and related crimes is not my division but I strive to learn more about why the people of these crimes do what they do. I have studied numerous books and articles and have found many different possibilities. The most common is a mental issue. It is his way of projecting blame off onto another so he can feel like it was you who caused the actions rather than it being him. Most people classified under these crimes tend to have an immature state of mind. Your best bet is to try and find an understanding for what it is and to maybe put space between you too. However, most criminals of this category will tend to inform somebody before they commit another action so just keep that in mind and if necessary report it.

Answer 4

Im fairly sure that if you consciously do something you know to be wrong, its your fault regardless of what you were thinking about at the time. Otherwise that would mean that none of us are answerable for our own actions, and all of us are answerable for a bunch of unrelated actions of other people. It seems a bit silly when you think about it. I have a notion that he was trying to evoke some sympathy from you by saying that. Id say avoid him at all costs from this point onward.