An ex-friend who was convicted of child abuse told me it was my fault he did it?

Question

He said it was because he was thinking of me while he did that?

He also told me he felt that the punishment doesn't fit the crime, 2 yrs probation and 10 yrs on the registry... he kept telling me that what he didn wasn't a big deal and would keep comparing himself to the other guys he has to take a class with. He would say that he is not like those other guys in his class and would tell me he didn't belong there.

I think he did... but what is his motivation in telling me things are my fault? And why is he denying his punishment/crime?

Answer 1

My dad is the SAME way. Exact same. I think people are just like this; they just can't be blamed for their actions. They either blame others, or deny it. Or both! They actually believe they can do no wrong.

Answer 2

he's merely trying to make you feel guilty for him being a violent person.

trying to justify child abuse is just plain wrong.

Answer 3

You are his scapegoat.  If he can blame you, he doesn't have to blame himself.  People never want to admit when they are wrong, and no one want to think of themselves as bad people.  He blames you so he doesn't have to think about what a horrible thing he did.

Answer 4

That sucks!  I hope you don't take it on-board.   He obviously has a problem accepting responsibility for his own behaviour.   Maybe he hates the thought of what he is and can't face it.