An older boy in my neighborhood touched my 5yr old son?

Question

He was out side with my husband sisters kids and he told me that a boy in the neightborhood put his hands down his pants and touched his pee pee. This boy is 11!Should I go to the police or just talk to his parents? What should I say to his parents?I am very mad about this, should I be or am I over reacting?

Answer 1

An 11 year old on a five year old is a borderline predator. I would contact the parents and Child Protective Services. Chances are the 11 year old has had it done to him, and is showing you he needs help for a bad situation. Were there witnesses? Don't allow him around your son anymore. You can call CPS and ask for advice as well.

Answer 2

I would go to this boys parents and just tell them straight up what there son did. Maybe, if they dont belive you,bring your son so he can tell them. This boy may need some consoling. I hope this helped!

-Tara

Answer 3

You are NOT over reacting. The best thing is that your son TOLD YOU that it happened right away. I understand your anger, and as the other posts have said, CALL CPS and report it. They will investigate it and the chances that the 11 year old is being abused himself is very likely. Just "talking to the parents" is risky. A natural instinct would be to deny their boy could do such a thing and they may be his abusers. In any case, CPS will investigate and question all the parties involved, including your children.

***This is SERIOUS and as a parent it is up to YOU to protect your children in every way possible. ***

I know from 1st hand experience in this. Report what has happened and at the very least the older boy will be interviewed by CPS and possibly a Detective and he will hopefully learn that his actions have consequences. To only "talk to the parents" is irresponsible. Take Action.

Good Luck & email me if you'd like to

Answer 4

talk to his parents... their is something wrong with that 11 year old boy.. :/

Answer 5

of course tell the parents, he is old enough to know better.

Answer 6

yeah, talk to your boy be away from that older boy and tell your husband's sister about this thing seriously.  And keep on an eye on that big boy and bring her little kid around parents' side as much as possible to protect him... Afterall, your kid is very little not having any ability to protect himself or ability to differenciate what is right or wrong, if his parents still haven't teach him about this grossing stuff.  Teach him oppertunitily right now or there might be something confuse to that little kids.  As parents, we should have responsiblity to protect our kid away from bad things happened; also educate them the world is not as good as what we see.  Right now, he is 5 yrs old and will go to the school in next year. So better to prepare in advance and will be a lot of use for him to use his wit to avoid such kind of wackos in the future.

Answer 7

you are not over-reacting! u shud go to the parents immediatly!!!!

Answer 8

I would be mad but don't over react.  I would be more concerned for the other child; your child - you can talk to about what happened and what it means.  And how to protect himself.  

The biggest thing that I would be concerned about is that this child (11year) is being abused.  Yes kids can be curious, but that seems a very specific action (hand down the pants - not comparing anatomy which is pretty common but physically touching) which makes me think more that the child has learned it from somewhere and is in danger.  

It is a hard situation about who to talk to.  Do you know the boy or the parents?  Honestly, your best bet, might be to call the police or child protective services and ask them what to do.  Whatever you do though, for the child (11yo) sake, don't let this drop until you and/or the police are satisfied that this child isn't being abused.

Answer 9

Your son needs to  tell you the whole story before you go through with this. You and your son can get into alot of trouble if its not what you think!

Answer 10

Since you didn't see it what are you going to tell this boys parents?  Just because your son said what he did doesn't mean it actually happened.  You need to first get to the bottom of the story with your son before you go around accusing other kids of something they may not have done.

Answer 11

i would be upset, you should go to parents now and let them know what happened and how u feel about this situation. to me thats kinda creepy and weird and awful for your son to have to go through that. but careful your son might get asked alot of questions over and over if u go to cops and it might make him scared, confused, etc.

Answer 12

go to his parents

Answer 13

talk to the parents first sweetie you have every reasont o react as you are TALK TO THE PARENTS FIRST then if they dont punish him or NO CONTACT POLICE I CHANGED MY MIND BUT TALK TO THE PARENTS FIRST

Answer 14

That's a hard one. Have a talk with him and let him know that you are going to talk to the boys parents and then see what happens from there if the police need to get involved don't hesitate. That other boy might be having the same issues within that house.

Answer 15

You're not over reacting, it's your son.

I would probably go to the police you don't know how his parents may react when you tell them his son touch yours.

Good luck !

Answer 16

I would go to the police, because if you don't know the boys parents, it could be something happening at his house that is causing the boy to do this... (maybe even the boy is being abused at home?) , and if that is happening, the boy's parents will immediately try to protect themselves. I'm not saying that's what is happening, but its possible. Therefore, its safer to go to the police, and they can handle it. If it turns out that nothing is going on over there, I don't think the parents can get in trouble for their son doing something, but they would be alerted to it and can talk to their son or get help for him.

Answer 17

yes you should talk to the parent about this, it is very inappropriate behavior especially coming from an 11yr old boy, so go to the parents home, and take your son with you, so he can tell the parent what her son did.

Answer 18

You are not over reacting, you should have gone to the police.  The police will question both children seperately and any adults that were there. The adults were not supervising the children if there is an allegation that this happened!

Answer 19

of course this should not be done..its not right.. but in cases like these i would be scared that this little kid si getting touched at home and if you go to their parents they might get mad and do something worse..i would keep an eye on the kid..and if he does it again maybe alert the authorities.

you have to looka t this from ALL angles.

Answer 20

You should go to his parents. and no you are not overreacting..inform them as well, that due to the situation, he is no longer welcome to be around your son and that if it happens again, you will call social services.

Answer 21

kids can be curious during that stage of their life... personaly i would talk to his parent... because gettin the police on him may change his self estem.. it would be best if the parents handled this delicate issue.like the saying "Parents know best" hope this helps.

sincerely, Dr, shavago

Answer 22

you are not overreacting. Go to the parents and let them know what their son did. They need to know and need to deal with it. Go down there calm. Anger won't help

Answer 23

About 7 years ago, I caught a 9 year old boy playing "what's yours" with a 7 year old boy & his 6 year old sister, I told the mother of the brother & sister & I was the treated like a criminal by her (not by anyone else - everyone else thought that I was brave).  The 9 year old in question, wasn't a bad lad, he just came from a strange family background.

Advise your child about these things, warn him about people doing things like this to him & just make sure that the chap that did this doesn't come within an asses roar of him in the future.

When my chap was 4 & a local girl was 7, she liked to sneek into my garden & play "what's yours" with my chap & the chap next-door, when I went to her parents about it, I got a "short shock" by their reaction, when I went to the other chap's parents, the reaction was worse - WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW.  I gave up & moved house.

Answer 24

As people have already said, this could be a sign that the boy himself is being abused. It is one of the most common signs.

Of course it is not a certainty.

It could have been a harmless bit of fun that the boy himself didn't realise was inappropriate, or indeed it could be an early sign that the boy has a fascination with younger boys. It could be that he is g*y and entering the early stages of confusion over his sexuality.

But you mustn't ignore the fact that it COULD be a sign of abuse happening to him.

I really have no idea how I'd handle the situation. I'd avoid the parents in case the latter was the case. I don't think there is anything the police could or would do, and once again if potentially abusive parents got wind of this, it could make things ten times worse for him. Do you know the boy at all? I think my instinct might be to try and talk to him myself. Not to tell him off or to scare him, but I think I might sit with him and ask him why he did it. If he denies it, tell him you KNOW he did it, he isn't in trouble but you just want to know why. Ask him if he has anything he'd like to talk about, and if anything is happening at home. If he says nothing, say that you would always be there for him to talk to if anything was happening, and that you wouldn't tell anybody. And of course tell him firmly that his behaviour towards your son was very wrong, and that if he ever did it again you would have to tell his parents.

You might be able to gauge from his reaction to that what you think the answer may really be - and deal with the situation from there?