Analyse My VERY SHORT Poem?

Question

Moving On

The sweetest sound is that of broken glass.

But only for a second does it last.

And when the lovely sound has left my ear

At once I feel the impulse disappear.

Answer 1

that sounds of a glass is saweet 99% -1 cuz to long

Answer 2

I think it's pretty good. I don't know what it's really saying if it's not what Jeff said, though. If it is, I give it a ninety--if not, a fifty.

Answer 3

Move on, remove this obsession to be graded, to be compared.  Your words speak from yourself.  Others that view will judge based upon themselves.  If you require a survey each time your muse calls, the end result to me will be generic.  You have a voice, work on developing it more and ignore the rest.

Answer 4

Brilliant and Magnificent! These four lines sound very precious. And to rate from 1-100, I shall give you 70. because to be another Frost, you have miles to go. This poem is great, but it a collection of so many great poems that made young Frost, the immensely famous Robert Frost. Make a collection of wonderful writings like this...you could easily be another. You have the talent and you can.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Nice, you've read poetry.

Read more of it.  And if you'd like, you could consider learning in the old style by handwriting/memorizing what you've read.

You have some, um... furor poetica, I think they call it.  And as jedi master has pointed out, some freshness of expression is missing in your sample.  That's something that in my experience can't really be taught; you just start out with some of it and it grows as you yourself grow.  In the meantime, reading/memorizing should give you a better economy of words, understanding of what's out there and what you want to say to it, blah now I'm just boring myself.

Oh, and never deflect good criticism, even if praise is more immediately gratifying.

Answer 6

Even the Masters had to learn their craft. This has meter and rhyme, but it needs more power. You have talent.

Answer 7

The sweetest sound is that of broken glass.

awesome start. you have the right ideas, but you might want to find a new way to actually write those ideas. i love the whole attempt at pentameter, but sometimes it may be too rigid a structure. something more like this would catch attention:

the sweetest sound is that of broken glass

it lasts but only a second, so fast

does the lovely sound escape my hearing

so fast i find the impulse disappearing

Answer 8

It is a tradition at Jewish weddings, to break a glass as a reminder of the destruction of the temple, in keeping with the larger tradition of always mixing a little happiness into sad occasions, and a little sadness into joyful events. Therefore, I can only infer from this poem that the moment that you finished your wedding ceremony, you instantly regretted it. But if you're not Jewish, that's a whole other story, and if you ever come to visit me I will hide cups, glasses, plates et cetera and buy plastic ones. [ Are there plastic TV sets also?]

A thousand pardons, I forgot the rating. I give it my usual 84.4456798762457135536379213590311109514...

Answer 9

listen to laura...she has good taste (-=

Answer 10

from four lines it will be hard to tell whether or not Frost should pack his bags, but from what you have written now and (from the ones I've read before) you have talent, so I'm going to give you a 90, because practice makes perfect. Good job and Good luck.