And what do you think of this poem i wrote earlier this year? i like this one the best?

Question

~

through all the

Lies

i swim away

~

through all the

Tears

that cant be seen

~

through all the

Hurt

that mussnt stay

~

through all the

Pain

i just scream

~

through all the

Love

that i cant see

~

through all the

Voices

i cant hear

~

through all the

Friends

made for me

~

through all the

People

that i fear

~

you are the

Cause

for me to tear

~

you are the

Voice

thats in my ear

~

you are the

Scource

of all my fear

~

you are the

One

who through the spear

~

through all the

Hurt

i hurt no more

~

through all the

Pain

that you imbed

~

through all the

Love

i was unsure

~

through all my

Life

you made me dead

~

Answer 1

This one is much better than the other two ones.

This is really good but the end - you must work at it as well as you tried with the other ones.

Otherwise it may be well you can express your self, I wouldn't if I were you or better said I didn't want to. Or when I did it, as your feelings, I was so close to really enterprise in that end .... It is useless.

A LIFE IS

ALL

WE HAVE.

I love you, I love life

whatever we can - and WE CAN - endure,

IT IS WORTHY !

DO NOT THINK

at the dreadful part of your life.

I haven't read any Secret movie, but I LIVED some time in few stories. It is really up to our self. All the time. Anytime.

Sometime, very very very HARD,

or right away (IT'S UP TO YOU and ONLY YOU !)

SUN shall rise that special morning telling you my words once again:

It is worthy! Any it's WORTHY

by its rais,

by the birds easily breaking the silance of the dawn,

by those moments of cristal chill ...

After many, who knows how many

deadly nights and killing evenings and dreadfull long seconds of days,

ANY MORNING,

ANY DAWN

is STILL WORTHING.

I know it

&

You know it.

Answer 2

I think it's a great poem!

Answer 3

I do like this poem. It makes the reader feel your passion. It flows, but if you're going to say at the end (which I thought was very good) "Through all my life you made me dead" take out the part saying "Through all the friends made for me" because for me that is the only thing that doesn't flow with the rest, and left me slightly confused. I really do like this poem. You have potential! Keep going with these, and perhaps I may see you poems in a book near the future.

Answer 4

it is good, it makes the listner feel your emotions.