Andrea says: "women should have every opportunity a man does, the right to choose if she wants to be a .." ..?

Question

"women should have every opportunity a man does, the right to choose if she wants to be a houswife or career woman. they shouldn't be told that they cannot be one if they are another."

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ahrpz.sRddDixErZS5jIMzIjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20060707212112AAMG4Jr

I didn't know men had that opportunity.

Sure, one guy can negotiate and slum his way into a career of being a SAHperson, and live out his life in that role - but in our society would this be considered a realistic "choice" for men? Do fathers go over this with their sons? Do young boys and young men really sit down and plan their futures with this being a possible option?

- With that being said, what are your thoughts on Andrea's comments, and the possible irony or duplicity of what she is implying in regards to women's ongoing quest for 'equality'?

Answer 1

In a recent question a man asked what people would think of a stay at home father and there were many asnwers which were extremely rude negative.  

Answer 2

"Sure, one guy can negotiate and slum his way into a career of being a SAHperson, and live out his life in that role"

With that attitude toward the role of stay at home parent you wonder why women are fighting for equality??  And you dare to suggest that women who seek careers instead of being housewives are seeking some "extra" opportunity that men are denied??

If stay at home parenting was ascribed  a status commensurate with it's importance to society, men would be COMPETING to take that role.  A lot of men would actually prefer it to working 40-50 hours a week, but are afraid they would be ridiculed for expressing that desire.

This attitude is one of the things that feminism is trying to overcome.

If you are going to allow attitudes from other people limit your life choices, you will find a rather narrow scope of opportunities.  Men DO have the choice to be SAH parents.  The choice carries certain consequences. You have illustrated one of them.  Bear in mind, living on one income requires careful budgeting and sacrifice, no matter which person is the breadwinner.  

If the collective attitude in society would release their hold on traditional gender roles and equal opportunities were **truly** available to all, women would be getting jobs that pay enough to support a household, and men would truly have the choice to be SAH parents - just as people would be free to follow tradition if they chose it.

Economics cannot be ignored in this discussion.  Remember that the SAH parent was popularized during a period of great economic prosperity, and when the economy is down, it becomes a luxury few can afford.

Answer 3

It is becoming a more acceptable option for men these days, though I doubt most fathers sit down with their sons and tell them it's an option. Most guys don't want to - they seem like they'd rather go out and bring home the bacon instead. I have no problem with that at all. I like traditional roles.

That being said, I do see the irony in that statement. Quite simply, men don't have all the opportunities that women have these days. The pendulum has swung around from equality to something else. Men are no longer equal to women - we have more rights in many ways than men do. It seems like the quest for equality has ended and now they are searching for special treatment and superiority. Women want to be able to act like men and do anything a man can do, but still have special rights and special treatment and consideration. Not fair to men at all. And certainly not something you can call equality!

EDIT - Doodlebug, I couldn't agree more. It is silly to expect society to cater like that. You can't have a high-paying career if you're going to be home with the kids on and off. You can't be home with the kids if you're seeking a high-paying career. It is up to *you* to pick one and go with it - it isn't society's job to bend over backwards so you can do whatever your little heart desires.

Answer 4

Men do have that opportunity. There's no law against stay at home dads. There are some too.

Answer 5

I didn't understand anything!sorry for the linguage

I want to learn the language i'm italian  

Answer 6

The real world of work is very competitive, and to have a career you need to be dedicated from at least 9 to 5, and to be there consistently over time. In most careers things change quickly and what was current in December might be totally outmoded in June. If someone wants a career its unrealistic to think that taking regular breaks to take care of children is going to do anything other than wreck it.

Why do feminists go on and on about 'having it all'? What adult in their right mind thinks that the world should bow to their every whim. Even children outgrow this mentality once they see how pointless, self-indulgent, and counterproductive it is.

Edit

Its probably not a coincidence that many adolescents go through a feminist phase, but then move on. Why does anyone listen to the ones who don't grow out of it?

Answer 7

There are many ways that men "castrate" themselves in society by saying it's not "manly" for them to do certain things. Women do not do this, so we have many more opportunities/choices than men do.  

Answer 8

I don't think there is anything wrong with Andrea's comment. She should add, however, that men should also be given the option of being stay-at-home dads.... and increasingly they are. Many couples nowadays do take turns staying home with the children. And most young people nowadays choose their own path in life (regardless of whatever old-fashioned views their parents may have had).

In fact I saw a very positive program on TV (in Australia) about husbands who stayed home with their kids while their wives worked.

My partners brother is temporarily living off his girlfriends (quite substantial) salary, while he builds his music career.... and they're in a happy, committed relationship.

I think social progress is about casting away superstitions about what people can or cannot do, so that people in general have more choices regarding how to live their lives.