Angelina: "Compulsive" Mother?

Question

Experts say the "need for babies can signal depression or even manipulation", according to ABC News.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/Story?id=4349895&page=2

Some experts say those who "collect babies is a sign of deeper problems", and can be a form of "self-medicating".

According to psychologist Lara Honos-Webb, "Having children to find happiness is a recipe for a mental heath disaster".

What do you think?

Answer 1

quite honestly, after this baby (#3) i'm done contributing my genetic material to the next generation... :-)

but, i do agree that people who hyperbreed or adopt a ton of kids, have some underlying reasons besides wanting to love children. take the duggars for example.  there is no way i can be convinced that this woman can love, provide for and give quality time to 18 children.  yet, she does it.

and i do agree, that if someone has children simply to "find happiness" or a multitude of other reasons, mental health issues can occur.  especially when the child becomes an "individual" and not an extension of the parent.

as for angelina...i have no comment.

Answer 2

I don't think so.  Lots of people have lots of children.  It's not unusual.

Answer 3

'Experts' these days change their minds often, depending on who's paying them.

That is not to say that it's not possible.  I personally am not a fan of Angelina or her crusade to adopt if it's all for the media & 'look at me' mentality.  I'm not her so I can't say those are her intentions, therefore, can't say that she has a need for babies.  However, I can speculate & think that could very well be her underlying issues...I don't think she's working with a full deck.

I do believe that for some individuals who have the need to be needed or have other issues may 'collect babies' as others may turn to drinking or collecting shoes or purses.  I will say that most large families that I have met are fairly content and they just love having a lot of kids & family around.

Answer 4

Those with large biological families are rarely accused of being addicted to having children, so why should an adoptive family be? People are more likely to have a bio child to try and find happiness, and keep a family together than to adopt, especially with all the paperwork involved. I am aware of families with upto 8 adopted children, domestic and international...it doesnt mean that they are compulsive parents, just parents with a lot of love to give. Why should Angelia Jolie be any different, because she's famous. Celebrities can enjoy motherhood as well.

Answer 5

I have a feeling if she weren't rich enough to hire each kid its own personal nanny, she'd have stopped long ago.

Answer 6

maybe she wants to give some kids a better life then they would have if left in an orphanage. and she gives a ton of money to these orphanages too, to help all the kids.

don't pick on her.

Answer 7

Well it's no surprise that's she's not all there-

Answer 8

so would you rather those children remain in foster care , and never get adopted?  An argument for abortion is that "there are already too many children in foster care"- but when someone has the money to be able to adopt more that one or two children, we complain too- what is wrong with this picture?  When I said remain in foster care, if no one adopted them they may have been in foster care- sorry for the mix up

Answer 9

I think anyone who says that she wants to build a rainbow of children, has issues.

Answer 10

She won't speak to her own father (have you seen him on Access Hollywood?  Poor man is always crying and begging to see his girl.) but she keeps acquiring all these kids.  Yeah, she's a great example for everyone.

Have you seen that great YouTube clip where she's The Womb Raider?  Hilarious!

Edit: Yes, I would rather see those children somwhere other than with The WombRaiding/HomeWrecking/BrotherKissing TRAINWRECK that is Angelina Jolie.

There is another famous babycollecting celebrity who the public admired as a great humanitarian adopting four children.  Everybody loved her.  And then her daughter wrote a tell-all on how the woman physically and mentally abused her and her siblings for years.  Her name was Joan Crawford.  BEWARE!!!

Answer 11

angelina is not crazy she is HOT

Answer 12

I think some people are off the rocker when they say things like that- I work for a fost adopt agency- A million people do it because it is a pulling on their heart. Giving a child a chance in life. I think she is wonderful for what she is doing - I just wish she would do it here in the U.S we have plenty of children in the U.S. who need saving. But she chooses to get them everywhere else.

Answer 13

To be honest with you, I have always thaught she was a picnic short of a sandwich anyway. Nothing that woman does supprises me. But I also think its hard to know what shes really like with all the media attention and things. I dunno, shes a lost cause. I dont even associate her with adoption. I dont know why, I just dont. Maybey I just jump on the wagon of the stereotype celeb adopting from alover the globe blah blah. Sorry but y'know. Shes strange.

Answer 14

i agree. its nice that she's adopting children and having her own, but when i heard she was pregnant again, i thought "ohhhkaayy....this is getting a little weird..." its great that she wants to be a mom, though....

Answer 15

It's a tabloid story making assumptions about people none of us really know. I'm sure Jolie-Pitt would prefer that the press just go away and stop taking pictures of them and their children.

The condition of depression does exist for a lot of people for reasons personal to them. Maybe some do think having children will find happiness. But I hardly accept that anyone who chooses to be a parent, adoptive or not, should have this label.

I think most people parent because they are fulfilled enough in their own lives that they have much to give.

Answer 16

Hmmm good read.

I think there are healthy people out there who just want big families.  A healthy life requires balance.  Sometimes its easier said than done but at least the effort towards a balanced life counts.

I also believe that you should a few questions before you have a baby.  Is there enough love to go around?  Am I spreading myself too thin?  Will there be enough money to support these children and provide them with all the same opportunities?

I can see that there is validity to this report.  I do see people who keep having babies as a way to seek happiness.  No baby should have a role to play.  Even if that role is avoidance of inner issues by the parents.  They should try counseling instead its cheaper.

As for Angelina, who knows.  I think most of the actors today are a tad bit crazy!

Answer 17

Well, for some that could be the case.  There are plenty of people who have babies (biological children) in a way to try to save a failing marriage.  Guess how often that works out?

I'm not sure what qualifies as "collecting babies".  Having more than one child?  It seems a bit general to me.

If someone wants children in order to compensate for other shortcomings in their lives, I don't think that is restricted to just adopting.

Answer 18

Being surrounded by kids can be intoxicating.  Feeling like you're helping someone, or doing something good in the world, can really take your mind off of the horrible state of the world, or whatever's getting you down.  So yes, I agree.  I've wondered myself if this could get me into trouble.  I can't have a job where I don't feel like I'm helping someone.  I don't want biological kids because I'd feel like I'm adding to the world's population for no reason.  Am I a compulsive "mom" (or caregiver, etc.)?  I don't know.  How good do I have to be to be "good enough"?  I don't know that, either.  It is kind of like a drug, I suppose.  It's a great feeling to know I'm doing the right thing, that I'm helping someone, and/or helping myself.  I get a huge payoff out of helping others, because I feel good about myself.  But once I've "done" one thing, I seek another.  I don't see myself resting anytime soon.  I'm trying to work myself out of a job...as long as there is still a "job" to do, in the form of people who need help, then I'm not done.  

Hey, this thought just occurred to me.  I keep harping about how it's wrong to give small children a "job"...well, I was born with a "job".  Maybe I'm still doing that job.  Hmmmmmmm... Time to call the counselor.  Lol

I am not adopting in order to "find happiness", however.  I know this won't make me any more happy than I am now.  It's not about me, it's about them...but I guess in a way it is about me.  I need to feel like I'm doing the right thing.  I need to feel like I've put in enough effort, learned enough, worked hard enough, that I'm a good enough mom, that I'm not creating more damage than they already have.  But I don't feel that all of the above will make me "happy" per se.  I guess what I want out of it is to have (hopefully) well balanced kids, a stable family,and the ability to feel good about myself as a person.  Interesting point.  I'll be doing some soul searching on my way to work (long drive).

ETA:  My answer thus far has been just my first thoughts, before reading the article.  Now that I've read it, I'm thinking y'all must be looking at me thinking I'm psycho!!!  LOL  My name literally means "Mother Earth" (a reference made in the attached article).  Wow.  But I do have to draw one important distinction between myself and the others mentioned in the article.  I find it VERY important to take care of my own needs.  I don't believe my children will come into my life and fix it all.  I am aware that I have issues, and it's MY job to take care of them, not my kids' job.  I'm pretty careful about making sure my kids won't feel like they have a job to do, aside from learning and growing, and just being kids.

Answer 19

I think for some people in can be a problem, because depending on the motive, it can put pressure on the kids to fulfill a need.  My ex-husband was 1 of 9 kids in the family -- all biological.  When the youngest was approaching the time to graduate high school, mom started commenting that she would like to adopt a handicapped child.

Everyone in the family knew -- and vocalized -- that it was about needing to be needed (no-brainer.) A handicapped child just might not graduate and move away like all the others did.  

She didn't end up doing it.  She did, however, start to find other ways of fulfilling herself so she could enjoy her later years.  It all turned out fine.

Answer 20

Agreed, but there goes at least 75% of all bio children as well.  All parents have to be ready to parent but deep down most people have children to think their lives will be better by it.  This is not original to adoption at all.

Answer 21

Sure, it could be a sign of all that

OR it could be a sign of simply LOVING kids, and wanting to help children in poor countries..

Who are we to say??