Angels - What suggestions would you offer?

Question

Angels

Wings are not a requirement for angels

But wrapped under the human mind

You will find endeared treasures

Swathed with fragrances, kind.

Love, loyalty, and generosity

Extended from a soul

Is a prerequisite

For angels protocol.

Angels don't have to have wings

And they don't have to fly

I've known many angels

And I've seen angels cry.

Answer 1

I Think You Overuse "Angels"

Though I Enjoyed This Poem Very Much :]

Answer 2

I like your poem very much. Very poetic.Thanks for sharing.

Answer 3

Loved your poem! It was beautiful and clever. There are only a few things I wasn't sure about. Like the first line, "wings are not a requirement for angels," the word "requirement" seems a little long and doesn't quite flow right. Could you substitute a word with less syllables? Also, wrapped "under" the human mind doesn't fit exactly. "wrapped IN the human mind" makes more sense to me, but maybe that's just me.

        "I've known many angels/ And I've seen angels cry," I just loved that part. Awesome poem!

Answer 4

Good word flow and rhyme.  This one has the qualities to be a good poem.

Answer 5

I like Dondi's poetry too.

You don't have to listen to me, I'm only a ten year old novice. Please don't be offended.

Angels do not require wings,

but deep in human minds,

you might find priceless treasures swathed with

fragrances to love resigned (I don't think endeared or '..., kind' sound very good, sorry).

Love and generosity (with the loyalty, it's too long),

extended from a soul

Is a prerequisite

For angel's, that's the toll (by this I mean fee, protocol doesn't rhyme and it doesn't sound right if everything else is rhymed and that isn't)

Angels don't require wings

For them to learn to fly. (If you're an angel, you can fly in many ways :))

I've known many angels

and they're allowed to cry.

I think you should add some more to the poem, it ends kind of abruptly. They can cry? So what? Why do they cry? For humans? For Earth?

Remember, you DO NOT HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.

You write wonderfully though (I MEAN IT!) Keep up the good work!

Answer 6

"and seen many cry" for the last line

i like yours though.  i kind of like your style more than mine.  i wish i could do it.  here's one short one i wrote though

i just wrote my name on the bed a few days ago for some reason then followed it with this:

stars are calling out your name

boarding starts, now catch your plain

start a new, just break away

save those tears for another day

the future's calling, don't turn away

i do things like that for myself sometimes.  i usually write a whole thing without thinking of a line once.  it's just what comes out.  including what i write on here.  (OBVIOUSLY).  but ya that one i just wrote the first line then took a pause in between.  i might write like that more often.  just tell me what you think