Anger is starting to Control my life. Please help?

Question

I wrote this out a few mins ago about what makes me angry:

Panic attacks - It makes me angry that I can’t go outside whenever I want and I miss it, it makes me angry that many probably judge me on my attacks when it’s not who I really am (or is it?).

Break up - I’m still mad that he left me, he was my first bf and first time and I feel used and ugly.

People never seem to be there when I would like help and are always there when I want to be left alone.

Sometimes I don’t know what I want, who I am, or why I am angry and actually get angry at not knowing what I’m mad about. I feel confused everyday about my moods.

Often I get the impression everyone hates me - so I try to be nice to them but if I don’t get the results I want (hang outs, comfort, or compliments or something) I lash out quite harshly.

I’m afraid of being alone, being neglected and panic attacks.

I keep getting angry at everyone, there isn’t even one person that I have not lashed out at that I know in the last month.

Usually I’m a really nice person but when I get angry I say the nastiest things and it feels like the anger is always ticking inside of me like a bomb that will explode. I then regret saying those things.

I feel like I’m in a shell that’s afraid to break open even though I want to so much.

Is there anyway to deal with all this anger?...I'm losing all my friends and it's starting to become less and less as something i can control. This has started happening about a year ago and has not stopped and only got worse...Usually I'm very shy and keep to myself and cause no problems. I am a 22 year old girl who lives with my brother who makes a mess all the time....I am very stressed and need help making a decision or attempt of some sort..I really want to be better. Thanks.

Answer 1

Here's a technique that I learnt to help me get through my panic attacks quickly...

I simply repeat the words 'cream cake' over and over in my head as quickly as I can without stopping.    You could use any word or words you like really but that's what I chose (because I like cream cakes).  It apparently works because it doesn't give your brain time to process the panicky thoughts and so helps you to relax again.  Seems strange I know ... but it works for me!

There's also a free ebook that I found really useful called 'Get Rid of Panic and Anxiety for Good'. If you want to take a look you can find it at: http://curepanicattacks.premiergold.info...    Even though I got it for free it has helped me absolutely loads!

Answer 2

The good thing is that you wish to change, I mean you realize you have a problem and you want to get better. I also have some of the same problems you face, but I have someone who understands me and doesn't judge me. So my advice to you is to control your anger day by day, is not easy but is possible. For example, if your brother makes a mess, instead of screaming at him, just get outside the house. Look at the whole picture, and don't be nice expecting that other people are nice to you back.  

Answer 3

Is ur anger out of control that once u get angry, u'll flare up n u become consumed by the anger?

I hope it is not, bcos I was in that situation 4 many years until I began to hate myself. (I was, like u, a nice n easy going person). My personality change 4 the worse year by year till I nearly ended my life. Ionly knew, that I had been suffering fr depression all those years after being admitted in the ICU.

If u r like what I was, please go n see a psychiatrist. No harm checking if u r having depression or not.

Take Care,

Depwill

Answer 4

Reading your list, it seems that all the anger is rooted in what others have not done for you, and you percieve they should have done for you.  You are keeping a record of wrongs that have been done against you (real or imagined), and rehearsing and nursing them in your mind which is causing unforgiveness and anger.

The best recipe for happiness is to concentrate on how you can give to others and that will make you feel good and others feel good as well.  When you find yourself taking offence at what someone hasn't done for you again, just make yourself stop and say, no, I'm not going to be a bitter person about that.  Then go and do something the opposite, help someone or send them a thankyou card or something.

It is a habit that may take time to break but you will be happier for it, and people will start to like you as well.  You will get people who are not nice in this world, but it's not worth being angry or you end up like them as well.

Hope that helps.

Answer 5

if you got willpower you can do any thing.ok try following things:

- start reading books on how to control anger,it makes difference.

-say many times a day " i am confident i can control my anger."

-as soon as you feel you are going to get angry ,leave the place and go some where else.

-as soon you feel get angry start saying " see i am not getting angry".becasue we get angry when we dont say anything and it starts boiling inside and then comes out in the form of anger.after saying that pat yourself ,appreciate your self.

try to remember god,he helps you when ur alone.

dont expact anything from anybody.help people with out any 'own' interest.expaction not met always hurt.because other person doesnt know that you are expacting something.dont persume other person is thinking same as u.you have to tell what you are expacting.

this life is full of experiment,so if somebody left you, just take as a experiment and learn something out of it.

last but not the least -- never love somebody so much that when he leaves you ,you feel hurt.GOD ID GREAT.

-always try to bring  something humorous out of the situation which lets you get angry.

sometime we get angry because we want every thing and every body to be perfact,remember no body and nothing is perfact in this world.