Angry at Inlaws, they lended some of my babythings to my sister in law?

Question

My sister in law and her husband are coming to visit for a 2 months from another country. My hubbys cousin just gave me one of those things babies walk for my unborn baby in I dont remember what its called. My mother in law told her not to bring one that they had one here for her to use. ITS MINE! They didnt ask me if they could have borrowed it, I would have said yes but they didnt ask and just took it without asking and are lending it to my sister in law WHO i dont NOT get along with at all. I feel like thats so unfair. Am I wrong about this? What can I say about them lending off my stuff.

(and just so you can understand a little more, my inlaws live with us in the house they gave us and unfortunatly my sister in law was invited to stay here again, without my permission.)

Answer 1

I agree with you. It was a present to you and they should have asked your permission. Is the walker brand new? Because that would make me more pissed off than anything if it was a brand new present to YOUR BABY and she felt that she could let someone use it. I would say something to your husband and have him put his foot down. I have to do that with my boyfriend and his parents who we live with. They might have given you the house but it is still regarding something that belongs to YOUR child. Good Luck.

Answer 2

i think you should take the high road on this one.  it was inconsiderate to offer your niece or nephew your baby's toy, but it isn't for your sister in law it's for her baby and hopefully you won't let your bad relationship with your sister in law ruin your relationship with your niece or nephew.  Perhaps they didn't feel the need to ask your permission to stay in the house they bought - even if it was given to you.  family is family and hopefully for the sake of having a little peace in your house when the guests are there, you are able to grin and bear it for 2 months.  For the future, just ask your in-laws to please check in with you first before they start loaning out your stuff.

Answer 3

That would made me mad also. My mother did that to me. Already had a walker and she put my niece in it. She wasn't even a baby or anything. She couldn't walk because of her condition but still no. I was expecting my second son. She put my niece in there and the walker broke on her. I was very happy. I got another one but she was trying to use to for her has well and I told her no because I paid for it and this for baby and she not a baby or to big. She was 2 year old.  If your sister in law not in there right now. I would get the stuff and hide it. If you have a friend you could ask to hold it for. Then tell them you didn't know where the stuff is..

Answer 4

i know all about in-law rivalry. I went through it for years and even still it come up every now and then.

In my opinion, the best thing to do is be cordial. If you make a fuss about the walker (or exersaucer) it will only build tension in the house that you have to share with them, therefore making you feel miserable in your own home. I would just leave it alone. Consider that you are doing it for the baby, and not for your sister in law, and hopefully that will make you feel better. No need to deprive a baby because of its parents.

Answer 5

I am sorry to say, but you are sounding a little immature and selfish. Whenever you travel internationally, it is always a nice thing to be able to leave a little bit more at home instead of dragging it around with you.

As for them being invited and staying at your house...your in-laws GAVE you the house. Now you feel that they are taking too much from you?  

Answer 6

It's staying in your house, right?  So they aren't taking it anywhere.  Your baby isn't born yet and the baby can't use it right away anyway, right?  So it won't get used by you.    And you didn't spend any money on it, either.

You might be extra sensitive because you are pregnant and don't get along with your MIL and SIL.

If they break it, make them buy you a new one.  But if they don't, let them use it.

Answer 7

That would make me mad too!!!

Answer 8

wow.

you sound like a child, honestly. the whole 'ITS MINE!' and 'its so unfair' - very immature.

when you have a baby, maybe you will understand how much stuff you need to take along with you, and id be wondering why i lugged all this stuff with me, when the house i was going to already had the stuff.

i dont think its the fact of the lending - after all you ARE getting it back, i think its that you dont like the person it was lent to. but its not her who will be using it, its the baby, so what have you got against the baby?

honestly, please before you deliver, grow up a little, have more tolerance for others and learn how to not hold grudges.

Answer 9

Yes they should have asked you however i'd get used to sharing quick smart cos when your baby arrives and it's a little older you will have to lead by example.

Answer 10

Yeah that totally sucks. I could say you should talk to your mil about it, but that is easier said than done.

Know what would be totally immature, but fun to get your point across. Since your husband told you she was lending it and not your mother in law, you should one day start to put it in the trunk of the car when your mil is watching. Then when she asks what you are doing, say you told a friend they could borrow it.Just to get her going. Then when she says she offered it to your sister in law, you can say"oh I didn't realize you had lent my stuff out.

I am going throught a similar situation with my mil and sister in law, so this why I am scheming so spitefully!lol

Although it really isn't fair to the little darling baby that will be using it. I would really try to get the nerve to say something to your mil--however it may be hard not coming across petty. Best of luck.

Answer 11

I would be mad to i have a seven month old baby girl and i have clothes in sz 2t That my cousin gave to me and my mother inlaw gave them to her freind

Answer 12

i can see why you're angry, it's not the fact that they're going to be using, just the fact that you don't lend out other people's property.

maybe you should mention to your mil that you would appreciate if she asks next time she wants to lend out YOUR things. surely she'll understand. i'm sure she wouldn't appreciate you lending someone something of hers without even asking.

Answer 13

This is perhaps a new low in immaturity.

Your in-laws do not live in your home...you live in their home. They paid for the home, therefore it belong to them and you are invited guests.

Being that you are long term guests in their home, they are free to allow usage of anything that is in THEIR home. The fact that the item will not even be removed from THEIR home and that you didn't pay for said item, is practically a mute point.

I would recommend moving yourself and your precious exersauser in to a home that you pay for yourself, if the use of it is something that is worth this hissy fit.

Answer 14

You have ever right to be upset.I suggest putting all you baby things away like in your bedroom,where your in laws should Never be and when you leave lock the door.It was nice of your in laws to give you the house.But once your name is on the deed it is yours and they have no say how or what you do with this house and the stuff in it. Congrats on the baby and stay strong,Do not let your Mother in law walk all over you!

Answer 15

Granted you are upset but why inconvenience a small child because you do not like somebody.  It is very stressful trying to travel with a child let alone having to bring everything they may need for him or her. Granted that does not put your mother in law in the right but why stress over something so small.  Your mother in law probably did not think anything of it