Annoying habbits of people whom are considerate?

Question

I want to help people be comfortable, I really do.

But when someone wants something and they take as long as they possibly can before they finally tell me they want something really irritates me.

Like for example, someone who works here waited until she was frozen through before she asked if she could have the air conditioning off. If only I had known sooner.

It is the same when people say they are hungry and thirsty.

Although they say "But I don't want to interfere on your space", but I would have allowed them to have these needs met since I am not a selfish person, I see that they only have to ask.

How can I possibly know to know that they may need something if they don't ask me.

If I say no or I say yes, I really wish they would just ask.

What do you think is happen in thier minds?

Snow Man

Answer 1

I am from the South. I was raised you ask for nothing at all. And when at someone Else's home you sure don't bother them. And at work, it's according. If everyone else is not cold or hot they may feel bad for asking and putting others out.  

Answer 2

No telling, and that is probably the point. Some people are not good at asking for what they want, and until they do you can't be expected to know something is awry.

Some people are genuinely hesitant and others use it as a power tactic or a passive-aggressive stance. All you can do is keep going about your day and if someone wants to pin the fault on you for something like this, that is their problem and not yours.

Answer 3

something about you intimidates them whether visual or otherwise.

Answer 4

Are you scary?  I think they're afraid of you.

Answer 5

In general, with all your relationships both personal and professional, start to let people know that you appreciate feed back and that no question is too stupid.  Also, when you do get feed back from people, positively reinforce it by thanking people and smiling in appreciation.  People will feel more comfortable coming to you in the future.

Start asking questions for how people are feeling.  If you are in a room with others and you think the temperature may be too hot or too cold, ask for input.  IE: How is the temperature here - too hot - too cold or are you all ok?  You could say the same thing about music or lighting.

If you are hosting people, the polite thing to do is offer refreshments to people up front.  If I went to visit a friend at his house and I was thirsty, I would only ask for a drink if I really needed it if it wasn't it initially offered to me.  If people are visiting either your home or office ask if they are hungry or thirsty.  But if you are not the host, it is not your place to start offering refreshments.  

Answer 6

Sometimes it's self esteem issues, sometimes it's a passive aggressive thing.  Some people just have a martyr's syndrome.  Either way, it is annoying, but you can't make them speak up, so just don't worry about it.  Nice people have a tendency to feel bad when other people choose not to give them the opportunity to be nice, we all have to learn to get past that.

Answer 7

Some people are afraid, some people don't like rejection, some people don't know how to speak up, some people don't want to seem like a pest, some people don't want to seem like begger, some people don't want to seem like a complainer, and the list goes on.

There are alot of different reasons. Don't stress yourself out about it though.  Like you said, if they don't ask, then they don't get what they want.  It's not your job to read anyones mind.