Another TRIGEE Poem?

Question

Please provide honest opinions.

Upon the empty space…………Revolving bodies intertwine

Atoms dance……………………Through twinkling lights

Their waltz……………………... Orchestrating the music

Of time…………………………..Congregating their lives.

Answer 1

To be honest .. it might make a tool for helping science class in picturing the concept of atom and the lay-out of its contents.

Answer 2

again my ignorance has caught me once more. Not sure what a Trigee poem is--Sounds unique. Either way I like the visuals-they dance through my crippled mind

Answer 3

That poem is so freaking original. I love it! Thanks for teaching me a new kind of poem and thanks for entertaining me with this post. I been bored out my mind lately on this section.

Alot of the poems on here give me headaches or make me just log off. lol.

But this one is truely interesting.

I hope you have it copyrighted.

Answer 4

Beautiful! Thanks. The moon of truth truly travels in Buddhas sky of complete emptiness. : )

Answer 5

nice poem, but poems are g*y, stop wasting yur time.

Answer 6

Galactia San, I am entirely ignorant of TRIGEE poetry but I will go and find out about it.

However, to TICKLEPO.

I am 6" tall, father of three children and a Judo black belt. I like poetry.

g*y?

Perhaps you should revise your opinion

EDIT.

Well, I went and found out. . .

Blimey! Talk about making life difficult for yourself!

Your poem certainly seems to fulfill the criteria - and I like it - but I hope someone better qualified than I comes along to offer an opinion.

Another edit.

Dang! I didn't see your explanation. Never mind, I learned some stuff.

Answer 7

Nice.  Now try the triple.  Make it sizzle!

Answer 8

Very well crafted, and that's not easy to do. You have two good verses combining to make a third that's slightly better. Most that I have seen lose a lot from the combination.