Another Trigee!!!! Very addictive!!! WW2 base. What do you think?

Question

He saw him on the hill..........He sat to drink his Joe

"Jerrie, Jerrie!"....................."Das ist gut!"

Cried the lad........................He heard a strangers call

As he pushed......................Himself to stand aloft

Another round......................he loaded fast and tall

The German jumped.............he heard a bolt

to that fateful bark................and a gun shot burst

before he hit the ground........that was his last sound

"Got that bloody wanker!"...."Sie schossen das Felwebel!"

Screamed the Sargent........Yelled the men

to a stand..........................searched the land

But just as he stood aloft......they saw him, put cross-hairs on

He fell to sodden land...........Brothers in a Band

-Hahner

Answer 1

Amazing! Yes, it would be a coup to do it in both languages. Poets are literate people.

Answer 2

Very good Trigee that reveals the universal costs of war.  "Got that bloody wanker!" ??  Really.  That seemed a little out of place, but it did relieve the tension (now you know what I mean, HAHNER); it made me chuckle... Thanks for a very fine read.

Answer 3

hmmm, intriguing! Very well done!

Answer 4

When I got to where you were going, it turned out really cool (for me anyway, but I played with GI Joes when I was a kid).

P-4 is the hook. I would like to see this done straight through with all English on the Left and all German on the Right.

This is such a good idea that I am tempted to Yoink it, but those Poetry Police are really strict.  

Answer 5

This is one of the best Trigees I've read.  Very creative and great use of rhyme and rhythm.  The dialogue and your use of another language really did the trick and made it unique.  Great write.

Answer 6

Wow! and Bravo! this is terrific. Yes these are addictive and it reads

like you will not give this addiction up. This one surpasses any I have read  posted on yahoo. as well the longest.