Another critique please?

Question

Please include actual reasoning for the critique. I appreciate honesty, but if I need improvement I would like some insight, thank you.

"Daddy Dearest"

Daddy,

You mean

So

Much to me.

You do everything in your

Power

To hurt me.

Thank you, Daddy.

You are quite skilled at making me

Cry.

You must know how

Delicious

my

Bitter tears taste.

And yet, you let me savor

All of those

Salty, savory drops

That fall from my cheek.

Daddy, you are so

Unselfish.

Thank you, Daddy.

And then,

Daddy,

When I hope

To share my day with you,

You ever so rightly

Ignore me,

And step out of the room.

And leave me.

Alone.

Thank you, Daddy.

I just wanted you to know

Daddy,

How much you mean to

Me.

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain, though my pain was somewhat different. I believe that everything we are and will become is a result of what we have experienced or will experience. Be careful that you use your experiences to help you and/or others in positive ways. I realize you have moved on. Writing is a great way to work through emotions.

Answer 2

Your poem is very revealing. It is also very amateurish. I don't know how old you are, but from the writing you appear to be very young. You don't tell why your father makes you so sad, or why you cry because he leaves. I think you should share this with him. It will be difficult, but perhaps you could plan a time when he is around and you can get his attention for a few minutes. Tell him how much he means to you and how you wish you could share some quality time with him... even if it's just going for ice cream. Things CAN be different; unless your Dad is a real slug.