Another of my poems in a different vein, your comments?

Question

TELL ME THE STORIES OF JESUS

Tell me the stories of Jesus,

But be aware I know a few too,

And also that He's still here with us

Listening to me and to you.

I don't want to know about someone unreal

Too good for his feet to get dirty,

Unaware of thing that we feel

Unimportant for folks over thirty.

He was a passionate Jew,

Not well loved by the people in power

Nor interested in the rights of the few

Consigned to some ivory tower.

He claimed that ourselves we should heal,

And refused to judge between brothers

Drove out of the Temple those who deal

Profiting from the religion of others.

On the Sabbath He did what was good,

Ate dinner with prostitutes too,

His hands were scarred from working with wood,

And old lives he could fix and make new!

The stories of Jesus, be careful to tell,

Don't forget the Cross or the Tomb

As you do it would really be well,

You remember His Mother's Womb.

Our hope is in all, and it all has a place

To be told with understanding humble,

When together we seek His face,

As through this world we tumble

© July 25, 20908 Albert K. Jungers All rights reserved

Answer 1

I have seen the light.

This was a question the other day. The girl wanted to know if there was a poem or short story about the life of Jesus. I wanted to suggest the "Gospel according to Mark."

As I laughed at myself, I began to research the question. I was surprised by how little is out there. I did find her a nice poem, nothing spectacular. I wish I would have had this one to give her.

This is, however, not a perfect poem, and I wonder why that is...

Maybe this story has been told by one medium for so long that anything outside of that just doesn't fill the billet?

Just my thoughts.  

Answer 2

The attempt is good, I think you need some more editing to make it shine.  Words like Jew and prostitutes while correct, are harsh in this setting and to me detract.  Stanza 2 also, perhaps a revamp of that is in order.  Loved the last line, a take off on stumble.

Answer 3

A poetic homily. It could be read from the pulpit.

Answer 4

Clangy sounding , and the bad scans are jarring because it is so rigid otherwise. I may be biased by my disinterest in the subject matter, but as homiletic I guess it is about typically wooden.