Another poem, that I dedicated to my daughter?

Question

My Daughter, My Pride & Joy.

You were brought in this world for a very special reason.

The reason no one will ever understand.

When you came into this world,you made my life so much better.

Because you were sent from a very special man.

I thank God each and everyday.

For sending you here safe and not harmed.

Because I would have been lost.

If it wasn't for you, my beautiful daughter, my special charm.

I hold you in my arms everyday,just thanking you for being here.

You helped me straighten up my act in school.

And also helped me realize God will always be there.

So thank you Shaliah Brown, my beautiful baby girl.

Thank you oh so much for being in my world.

Najla Quarles

Answer 1

I was tempted to walk away from this poem because of my extreme dislike of sentimentalism, but actually the words are very straightforward and I greatly appreciate that. You aren't trying to bend language around rhyme or meter or whatever.

But I am having a problem with the last line in the first stanza. Did you mean for this to be suggestive? When I am done thinking parcel post jokes in my head I immediately get an image I assume you did not intend for me to encounter.

I think "sent from a very special man" implies alot more than you intended. You may want to restate this to avoid the sexual innuendo.

Answer 2

Amazing.

I wish my dad loved me like that..