Another poem please read/opinions?

Question

close your eyes

and let go of the pain.

close your eyes

and let the last tear fall.

say goodbye

and stop the hopeless wishing.

say goodbye

and never hurt this way again.

bow to the world

make your grand finale.

bow to the world

and give your last farewell.

good riddance to your sorrow.

good riddance to your misery.

now pull the trigger

and set your soul free.

Answer 1

awww i love this one to!!!!!!!!!if only i could write like that

Answer 2

eh, it is okay I guess. it's not that deep though. i would use more descriptive words.

Answer 3

It's great, I love the bow to the world part! It's great. Now, what's it called?

Answer 4

In all honesty, it does seem to give glory to suicide, suggesting it is the best way to end your sorrow. Now I get the feeling from your poem, that you want to twist the image of death around as though hope lies beyond it. Instead, it comes off as though the narrator of this poem has given up hope. If the latter is the theme, it is a excellent poem, but given there are thousands like it. But if it is the theme that beyond death lies the hope of being relieved of human burdens, you may want to get rid of lines like "and stop the hopeless wishing" and "make your grand finale" and give it a sort of sick hope. You could do this by making the narrator seem like they cannot believe what things have happened to them in this world, and have a strong belief that the ability to enter the emptiness ahead is perhaps the only way his human body will ever give him peace/ do him good. That would give it a longer life in your readers' minds. Anyway, well done...the world is need of fresh viewpoints and good poetry!