Another poem..please tell me what you think?

Question

The clock strikes twelve,

The fun begins,

The dark side opens,

Your devil within,

Painting a picture,

Of dark mysteries,

Wars of the nation,

Become history,

Thoughts replay,

Like movies in your mind,

Memories of peace,

Become hard to define,

Spirtits and shadows,

Become your new friend,

Mayhem and laughter,

Bring sanity to an end,

The clock strikes three,

This has gone on for hours,

Your mind becomes fogged,

Your heart becomes sour,

Love becomes irrelevant,

Friends grow apart,

Your life lived in darkness,

Becomes a new start,

The clock strikes five,

The sun has arisen,

Forever trapped in your mind,

Like a cell in a prision.

Answer 1

good job this was really great. keep going

please could you look at mine

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

I thought this was really well done. I think its about a person who parties too much, or it could symbolic in the worlds current state of affairs.

Anyway, you should join deviantart.com and post on their. THey copywrite your work so people wont steal. Its free too

Answer 3

Now that's poetry! That was great (I thought). I may be really wrong here, but is it about insomnia and those crazy, maniacal thought you have when you can't sleep in the early morning hours? Well, whatever it's about, I love it! Although, I do feel it needs another verse for the ending. It seems to stop kind of abruptly, but maybe that's just me.

Answer 4

i think it good & you should countinue writing

Answer 5

Omg I just teared up !! =(

I'm quite impressed !!

You've got it all to be a REAL poet; Talent, uniqueness, great use of words and touching themes, etc...

Spirits and shadows,

Become your new friend,

Mayhem and laughter,

Bring sanity to an end, << My favorite lines..

BRAVO! That was a great piece of ART ...