Another poem up for your viewing, titled "The Truth"?

Question

The title is (as said before), "The Truth"

Hiding like a brown twig in

Bright leaves on the ground,

Not in sight,

Yet waiting to be found.

It may be blocked

Beyond the vines that grow

Fed by lies,

That dull its shining glow.

The greatest peril of them all

Is when it's at last uncovered.

Though it is what you were searching for,

You may not like what is discovered.

Do you like it, hate it? Why? Any way I can improve it?

If you want, look at my other poem titled "Echo":

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aum_u71l8fUFPyYjRctRmrHsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080630164136AAllJHW

Answer 1

it's ok

Answer 2

i love it very nice

Answer 3

i love it, really good and i like the rhyme scheme and imagry.

Answer 4

Too emokid, in my opinion.

ADDING:

I don't know, it's the whole composition that has that tone, in my opinion. It's not bad, it's just been done before (ala, emokiddy). Keep on writing

Answer 5

There are both extermely great, but i have to say Echo is my favorite personally. Maybe change the Truth to something else (i have no suggestions, sorry). The Truth just sounds a little plain for such a great poem. You should try song writin.

Answer 6

I liked it alot. I actually visualized the scene as I read (which is a good sign.) Good job!

Answer 7

I love them both. Beautiful with meaning. publish it. both.

Answer 8

wow, GREAT poem, i really liked it. it didn't feel like it was just words, it felt like it really ment something. awsome  poem =)

Answer 9

dfbvgf

Answer 10

Half half.........

Answer 11

The greatest peril of them all

Is when it's at last uncovered.

Though it is what you were searching for,

You may not like what is discovered.

-I love that last stanza

Answer 12

yep i like it :)

Answer 13

wow im truly impressed the olny thing i would change is on the last verse dont put discovered as the last word put like found or something that rolls off the tounge

hannah

Answer 14

very good.  It seems like the whole poem is a metaphor mirroing the image of life itself.  liked it a lot

Answer 15

It's not bad

Answer 16

I like the poem, but its too clear to be entitled "The Truth." I wouldn't call it rhetorical at all, but it seems somewhat overstated, almost like a sales pitch for the truth -- a very good, articulate sales pitch, but a sales pitch nonetheless.

I personally like the other one [Echo] better and wouldn't suggest any changes to that one. It's actually really good in both the revised version and the one that this question links to.