Another "If" poem, may I have your comments?

Question

WHAT IF

What if

I went out of my way today

What if

I found a new way to be

What if

I listened to what you had to say

What if

I began to apply it to me

What if

The world began to change

What if

We acted like sisters and brothers

What if

We took the time to rearrange

What if

We found time to value others

What if, as if, if then

Were not a question

But a When.

©December 22, 2007 Albert K. Jungers All rights reserved

Answer 1

I like this more than your first offering on if.  Such meaning in a two letter word.  You could also try to rearrange this to lead like:

What if..........

  I went out of my way today

  found a new way to be

A nice tie in at the end with a challenge to make change to become 'when.'  What 'if' you tried to develop this more.....?

Answer 2

I love having all the options. Before I got to the end of the first option I was already thinking about this rewrite (the option you already posted below):

What if.....

I went out of my way today

I found a new way to be

I listened to what you had to say

I began to apply it to me

What if.....

The world began to change

We acted like sisters and brothers

We took the time to rearrange

We found time to value others

What if, as if, if then

Were not a question

But a When.

When....

I break out of my old way

New things begin to do

I listen to the things you say

I apply it and begin anew

Then....

This world will really change

More will treat each as kin

Together we'll arrange

New values to begin.

I very much liked these What if sentiments:

I listened to what you had to say

I began to apply it to me

Answer 3

nice poem

thanks for sharing

Justin  

Answer 4

Renewed values, they have always been.

When if, when self respect begins again.

Kudos to your poem.

Answer 5

wow! that was great!

Answer 6

Mon francoise est ghastly. I better get one of those Rosetta Stones.  

Answer 7

i like it alot!

Answer 8

This one belongs in the book.

EDIT: L'on ne pourrait jamais le faire a NY--trop d'embouteillages!

Answer 9

I like the new development of your poem. It is very positive, more than I could ever express, because I am usually more of a pessimistic optimist! In French, we say "avec des 'si', on mettrait Paris en bouteille"...  

Answer 10

What if we did, what then?

Wonderful.

Answer 11

Bravo