Another rap!!! (My Real Life)?

Question

Song; Why

You know i wasn't rich when i was born

My dad got divorced and got addicted to p**n

I thought he was a strong man i could of sworn

He got f***ed up when he came back from the army

Its all george bush torturing our military

Now my dad is buried in arlington cemetery

My dad's soul is always with me

Grew up here in New Orleans

You wouldn't imagine the things ive seen

You wouldn't imagine where i've been

God please relive me from my sins

When i got to high school

i was smoking trying to act cool

i just looked like a fool

Im looking at the clock

time goes by so fast it feels like im in a box

Its going tick and then tock

Answer 1

not bad at all but you're using a lot of nursery rhymes

try using more multis, listen to other rappers and study their flow.

expand your point of view...like you're talking about war which is a BROAD topic.

this may sound stupid but i use a tree chart

war > people dying > terrorism > twin towers > conspiracy about the US blowing up their own towers

      > iraq > war for oil > lies and unnecessary sacrifice

something like that. expand your thoughts and your view and get back on rapping.

www.myspace.com/konstantin16 check my music out, its old but the message is there

Answer 2

its awesome check mine out

http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 3

The Lyrics are good

I thinks its cool that people are able rap about their life and let it out

8.5/10

Sorry your dad died

Edit:  If  you  read it along with the beat from Lupe's -Where do I go it sounds good

Answer 4

wish I could actually hear it. It looks okay but it might be even better than what I think it is if it has a dope beat to it and you can actually spit.