Anti-adoption?

Question

Do you know anyone who is anti-adoption? Or, are you anti-adoption? If so, why?

Explain your answer thoroughly, please :)

Answer 1

To "Elizabeth"  (I think you are really a man!):  You said:  "Unless you are some sort of freaky science experiment, all humans have only one mother and one father."

So, when parents die, their children never have the ability to be parented again?

So when a man marries, has children and then becomes a widower, his new wife can never be a mother to their children?

So, when a child has an abusive and neglective mother, that is the only opportunity that this child will ever have of being mothered?

So if a child is incested by their father, is this the only way they will ever have of knowing what a father is?

So if a woman chooses not to parent her baby, but loves her child and wants someone else to raise her child, she should be forced to raise this child?

What about a parent who has no feeling for their child?  Parent?  

And what about a parent who takes their niece and loves and caes for that child's every need for its entire life?  Parent, or  Aunt?

What about a baby conceived through rape?  A rapist for a father, or an adoptive parent as a father?

Please, you attitudes are narrow minded, cruel, misguided and bigotted.  Families are not made through biology.  That seed may be nurtired in may ways, and in my book, the person who loves and cherishes a child, and makes sacrifices in the best interest of that child, is a parent.  And that means a birth parent, and adoptive parent, an Aunt, a grandparent, a foster mom, or ALL of these!

Who cares how many -- one, two, four!!?  The real issue is love, security, stability, sacrifice, and guidance.  Biology does not dictate this, and neither does adoption.  Individuals do.

Answer 2

Yes I am anti-adoption.

There is no reason for adoption to exist. If people want to help children who are are abandoned and/or orphaned they can become guardians. These children can be helped without adoption which is nothing more than a legalised lie.

Adoption does not build famlies, it destroys families.

Adoption does not help children, instead it leaves many wounded souls.

There are many adopted children who "detach" later in life (as adults) simply because there is no bond, no connection.

I couldn't call my adopters "Mom" or "Dad" any more than I could call my hair stylist or plumber Mom and Dad.

Adoption is a lie. Unless you are some sort of freaky science experiment, all humans have only one mother and one father.

Answer 3

I'm not anti-adoption. I am an adoptive parent. I am pro-adoption education, pro-unsealed records, pro-family preservation, pro-adoptee rights, anti-coercion, and I believe adoption should be a last resort. If a child is orphaned, has no family willing or truly capable of raising the child (not just because they're single or can't afford a pony), is in foster care with no able family, or is being abused in any manner, then I believe adoption or guardianship is a good option. It doesn't mean the adoptee won't have any issues or that there is no need for education, but I support adoption in those cases.

I want to also say that I am pro-family preservation in other countries too. I believe in sponsoring children and families, giving aid, and helping mothers in other countries to keep their children instead of having to surrender them for adoption.

I have never met or spoken to anyone who said they wanted children to remain in abusive bio families, remain in the foster care system, or spend their lives in an orphanage. I have also never met anyone or talked to anyone who has said all bio families are better than all adoptive families or that all pregnant women should be forced to keep their children.

Answer 4

There is a huge difference between anti-adoption and pro-adoption reform. I am all for the latter. I see adoption as being a last ditch effort. If all other avenues have been explored then adoption can be a huge blessing to everyone involved. I support fully open adoptions, not the ones where "open" is promised but "closed" is given. I support the unsealing of ALL adoption related records. Meh... I am not very articulate this evening.

Marsha R's response is 100% the way I feel. And so I pass the buck LOL.

Answer 5

i'm not sure how to answer.  could i place a biological child for adoption.  i don't think so.  but i've never been in that situation either so i can't honestly answer that.  i'm an adoptive parent and love my daughter.    she could not be any more ours.  and she is here with me because of a very selfless and brave woman, who we have become great friends with.  i'm all for open adoption.  i'm for adoption reform.  i can't see how this would make me anti-adoption.  when going through the beggining process and trying to decide wether to adopt international or domestic i tried to place myself in my child's place.  i would want to know my heritage, where i came from and so forth.  you don't always get that with international.  i also wanted my child to not only get answers as to why from me but straight from the source.  her natural mother.  hopefully as she grows we will continue to stay in contact and she'll better understand how she came to have us as her parents that are raising her, teaching her, guiding her and loving her.  she will also have the comfort i hope of her natural family to answer questions, love her, guide her and teach her.  i can't understand why if a mother and father or anyone for that matter can love more than one child just as strongly as another child and fear for them and protect them and guide them, why is it so hard for people to understand that a child can love two sets of parents and families?  why does there have to be a limit on love?  how many children raised by their natural parents end up in horrible situations, make bad decisions and are abandoned emotionally and physically?  how can this be the best answer?

Answer 6

I am friends with someone who is largely anti-adoption.  She is a first mother who was forced into giving her child up for adoption.  Now, 21 years later she is in reunion and is finally starting to heal.

How did I meet her?  Well, I'm an adoptive Mom with a blog - she posted some nasty things to me and I responded to her with a request for an education.  She gave me one and I, in turn, gave her one.  

I am like the other poster - I'm pro-open records, open adoption, non-cohersive practices, etc.

Answer 7

That is a very charged label, that scared adoptive parents, agencies, and attorneys (who benefit from adoption)  like to employ to make adoptees sound angry and malicious.  

I am a family preservationist.  I believe in adoption only in dire situations--as a very last resort--addiction, abuse, profound neglect, etc.

Answer 8

I am not anti-adoption - I know it is necessary in some cases.

I AM anti- unethical adoption practises and I am anti- closed adoption records.

Sometimes people throw the anti-adoption label too much when it is not warranted.  I know people who are anti-adoption and I respect them very much but, personally, I think adoption has a place but the way it is practised is absolutely shameful

Dear Healing - you are not a child - although the law would prefer to keep us as perpetual children and treat us as such.

We are adults and deserve the right to be treated equally to other adults both in accessing our own birth records and in our adult relationships.  Keep fighting for equal rights to access your adoption records - they are YOURS and don't let anyone put doubt in your mind - we've served the needs of others for long enough!  We can speak for ourselves now, right?   and WE can decide what is in our best interests

Big hugs

Answer 9

I don't know anyone who is.  I know that personally I would not be able to give my child up for adoption because I would always be wondering where they were and what they become.  I do though want to adopt a child someday myself.  I want to have one child to experience being pregnat and giving birth but then I want to adopt more children esp. older children.  There are so many children out there that no one wants and a child should never feel unwanted.  I think that everyone should have a chance at life so I don't believe in abortion I believe in adoption.

Answer 10

No I’m not anti adoption. I think records should be open I also think birthparents should give some medical and heritage information. To the adoption agency and they give it to the people who adopt the baby/child.   I had never heard of someone being anti adoption before I read some things online. I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised there are anti people for just about anything.

Yep i only have 1 mom and 1 dad, the parents who raised me and thats no lie.

Answer 11

Anti adoption people make me sick. if it wanst for adoption, i would be dead. my mother was single, sixteen, living in poor part of russia, and could barely feed herfelf. i would be dead if she had kept me.

Answer 12

I don't see how anyone could go through 9 months and then go through the pain of having a child just to hand it over to a stranger.

People thinks all adopted kids goes to good homes but alot don't. So while some young girls/women think they are giving their kids a good life they aren't.

Who knows who the child will go to, no one will know how the child will get treated.

If you adopted out your child then later on when you try to find them and you find out they were molested or killed by the adoptive parents would you feel guilty for allowing that?

I don't see the point in adoption, i would rather abort than adopt my own child out.

Give me all the thumbs down but that is my belief and no one can change it for me.

Answer 13

I'm not anti-adoption. I'm for reforms in in adoption. I feel there needs to be closer screening of couples so the child is put in a safe and loving enviroment. I feel that us adoptees should be able to access our adoption records if we ever choose to look for our birth parents. I believe that some adoption agencies need closer screening too, to make sure they are abiding by all laws. That they have the best intenetion for all involved, meaning the child, the adoptive parents and the birth parents. Go look @ my question on the ACLU - i was asking why they weren't helping us adoptees. and the very first post i got was from an elle dee accusing me of being anti-adoption b/c i was for open records. so alot of people throw anti-adoption around to us adoptees or adoptive parents becaue we want reforms. or because us adoptees want to find our birth families. i hope this explains were some of us are coming from.

Joslin-

how dare you!!! my mother was not some evil person. She unforunately was someone who was controlled by her drugs and her alchol(sorry don't feel like spelling). That does not mean she didn't love me. She had to make a choice regarding my well-being. I think it was a pretty hard choice for her to make. but at that time she couldn't raise me in a stable home enviroment. She didnt feed me and one of the many men that walked in her apartment, molested me. So she wanted to protect me, she did want my birth family to raise me. but the state said no. so the only thing left for her to do was force them to keep me where i was(i was about to be turned over to an ophrange)by telling the social worker i will only say the papers relquinshing my rights if she stays with the people that have been rasing her since she was 18mths. She told my adoptive parents what she did and the took action to protect her choice and me. They got a doctor and a lawyer to help out. so don't be bad-mouthing all birth mothers!! how dare you!!!!