Anxiety about moving?

Question

My 8 yr old, Ciana was all excited about moving until last night, and now she says she "hates" the new house and doesn't want to be there anymore. Is this normal at all? How can I help her adjust?

Answer 1

Change is HARD and SCARY - even for kids! LOL!

When we moved we did a lot of talking and reading books with our four young children.. they needed to know that all their toys were going - animals, clothes, beds, etc.  

We then let them in on the fun planning stuff; paint colors, where to put things... what to order in when we were too tired to cook!  

Finally, if you are moving across state, contact the school they will be going to and have the new teacher arrange a few pen pals in their new class - they will show up as a celebrity!

Hope that Helps!!!!

Answer 2

All the suggestions already given are good ones. Talk to your daughter, see if you can get her excited about her new room, and then tell her she can have a friend stay with her the first weekend in the house (assuming you are close enough).

Remind her that "home" is wherever you are all together.

Answer 3

Of course it's normal; a big change like that is very distressing for a child, and she hasn't adjusted yet. If you focus on the positive aspects of moving to a new place, as the previous posters have suggested, she'll groove into the new home more easily and feel much happier. Talk to her about why she feels the way she does; she's probably just sad and maybe confused.

Answer 4

She's got some idea in her head.  Question her gently to try to find out what it is.  did someone tell her it wasn't a good neighborhood or that it smells in the new house?  Are strange noises at night scaring her & she thinks she's too big to be scared, so she's embarrassed?  Could be something as silly as that.

Answer 5

Involve her as much as possible in all the positive aspects of the move.

For instance, have her draw a picture of how she would like her room to look, then take her shopping for things in her 'color scheme'.  

Help her plant flowers in her new yard.  Or help build or paint a new dog house if there is a pet involved.

Ask her opinion on the placement of furniture, lamps, etc.  Be prepared to accept some of her suggestions, even temporarily.  You can change them in a few weeks when she feels more 'settled'.

Let her unpack and arrange her room, just being available to help with the heavy stuff.  And, if possible, let her invite an old friend from her previous neighborhood to help her.  This creates an important connection between the previous 'life' and the new one.

Have a 'picnic' in the new house before move in day.  Sit on the floor of the empty living or family room with all the family and a tablecloth on the floor.  Create happy memories in the new place as soon as possible.

You get the idea.