Anxiety/ can't sleep due 2 upcoming hearing (warning long post)

Question

It is morning now (almost 3:30 a.m.) and I still cannot sleep! I have a bad case of anxiety. I have a civil protection hearing coming up in one week to be exact. The closer it gets, the more scared I become. My chest starts hurting, can't sleep, and cry (at night). I find myself checking on my son constantly. I mean, I checked on him a lot before, but now it is more frequently.My son's biological father lives in in a different city. Anyway, there have been many scares where I thought he was here. Now as the hearing date draws closer, I find myself looking out the window at every sound and every car light and every bark the dogs make.

I

don't know if I can control my crying and nervousness at the hearing. Even though those incidents happened over 6 years ago (had a C.P.O. that was for 5 yrs that ended in Dec), that I still fear him and I just want to protect my son first & myself last. I have a tape recording of him from almost 6 yrs ago and it pretty much has him not denying things, but yet not admitting. I wanted him to answer why he threatened me & stuff. He said if I want him to leave us alone or don't want me to worry about what he'll do, etc.. then I know what to do. He was talking about getting rid of the Child Support. In the recording he gets very angry, like he wants to come through the phone at me. I had to liisten to that again.

I keep having these horrible thoughts of something bad happening to me when he sees me. I am terrified of him. He has a list a mile long (exagerated a mile) of domestic violence w/ other women, cases of disorderly conduct, menacing, something where he intentionally hit a guy w/ his car, and so many other violations (many after we were together & during my last CPO). He just does not stop w/ his temper.

I took a valium just about 5 minutes ago, I hope that helps. Any advice as to how to get through this week w/out all this anxiety/ and to quit thinking of the hearing and all that stuff???? I just fear the judge will not give me the protection order again, even though he has had domestic violence against others in the last 1 - 5 years & even though (I mainly want to keep him away from my son, so he does not hurt him.)

Answer 1

Aww sorry to hear about this!  You are going through a lot.

Well make sure the doors are locked and the windows too.  If it makes you feel better, put something by the door, like your couch, blocking it.  You can try having your son sleep with you or you sleeping with him.  Depends on how old he is, he might understand if you tell you that you are afraid.

Just take deep breathes.  He is not going to get you.  Just think like that.  You could always stay with your parents for the week or in a motel somewhere.  You will be fine!  Just keep your son close.  That should put you a little on ease.  

Take a sleeping pill (if that is what Valium is) and just try and sleep.  Just put the TV on or the radio on but low to overpower the noises from outside.

Don't worry!  It sucks getting Anxiety attacks.  I get them too.