Any Advice on Post Natal depression & Isolation??

Question

I have a 2.5 year old and have suffered from Post natal depression for quite a while. My marriage is down the toilet and am currently in the middle of divorce. I am suffering greatly from depressions and anti depressants are just masking the prob.

All my family live abroad and I have few friends here in the UK. I have been to mum and baby groups but they all babble on about their helpful husbands and small problems and it infact makes me feel worse!

The divorce and custody case will take about 6 mths more so there is not much end in sight, and my soon to be EX is still in our house so everything is tense, my daughter and I have nowhere else to go until the result of the custody case when I will return home.

Any advice to fight off the depression demons?? How do you cope with PND?? Thanks

Answer 1

GP and Health visitor, don't take pills unless you have severe depression but get counselling and one really good friend.

Start going to day college classes to take your mind off things but don't tak about your problems there.

I believe that most mothers try to out-do each other and pretend that their lives are perfect when it is not,

you don't need to be around people like that!

Answer 2

So sorry to hear about your situation.  Some will say that as a bloke, I wouldn't know much about this...and perhaps I don't...But I do know that when we are down like this, it feels like it's going to be like this forever.  Nothing will change except to get worse maybe!

This is the untruth about depression.  Everything changes and nothing ever stays the same.

You have your daughter and you will move on.  You will be stronger for coming through this!  You will know the strength it takes to be a parent...I doubt that your husband has learnt anything and is almost certain to repeat this misery.  You...on the other hand...will not!

Easy for me to say be patient......but one day, what you feel right now will seem like something that happened to someone else.  Be kind to yourself.  Don't go down that blame road...it doesn't lead anywhere.

X

Answer 3

Hiya Honey,

I am so sorry that you aregoing through this.  It is really hard and lonely.  You can help yourself a little by getting some help from your health visitor, GP and tapping into local groups that support parents who are going through similar experiences.  I know that I may as well be saying to you: "Pull yourself up by your shoelaces!" as those things may be too hard or have proved unhelpful so far!

One really important thing is to start to take a high quality multi-vitamin with fish oil and iron (make sure they are out of reach of your little one as the iron can be harmful) because research has proved that pregnancy can alter your nutritional state and even a small inbalance can leave you drained and in a state of depression.  

Look at this: http://www.thinknatural.com/products/500...  

Some people experience Postnatal depression as outrageous PMS and a simple change in diet can support healing.  I know that this seems alot when you are in such a bad place but remember....this moment will also pass.  It will move on.  It will get better.  Take care of yourself and your baby and get the help and supprot you both need and deserve.  xx

Answer 4

you need to go to the doctor. I was in a similar situation to you, i found talking to a health visitor very helpful. if the group you went to wasnt for you, try another one. dont give up

Answer 5

i have PND. I feel some sort of isolation. i stay at home with my daughter, my partner works long hours. he works in shift patterns.

so if he is on early, he works 5.30am till 4pm. gets in at 5pm, sleeps till 7pm then goes to bed at 10pm.

on a backshift, he starts at 1pm works till 1am. gets in at 2am, goes to bed sleeps till 11.30am then leaves for work at 12noon.

so yeh, i feel like im on my own, he works so hard and its not his fault he is tired. what AD are you on. it may be a thought to ask to be prescribed a different drug. im on fluoxetine (prozac). i havent felt the benefits yet as ive only been on them just over a week. try not to cope on your own. i started feeling down 2.5mos post partum. it took me till 10.5mos post partum to pluck up the courage to go to a dr, by which time it had gotten so bad i was put straight on anti depressants.

if you need a chat, email me.

Answer 6

Get professional counseling.  Your life and your daughter's life are too precious to not keep asking for help.  I also believe in the power of prayer and of The Lord Jesus.  He is ALWAYS there even when you feel soooo alone.  You are grieving right now and I, one who understands this very well, believe that everyone grieves differently.  Don't be afraid to cry especially in front of your daughter.  Assure her that it is ok to cry when youre hurt.  If she asks where you hurt, point to your heart.  Learn about grieving, allow yourself to go through the motions.  NEVER beat yourself up!  Learn from your mistakes and do the best you can.  If that's not pleasing to those around you well, you decide what to say to them.  God loves you whether you believe or not.  I hope you do.  I deal with serious forms of depression deriving from many areas.  Lots of experience, lot's of therapy, lots of meds and lots of lots.  Hope something I've said helped because I do deeply understand pain of all kinds.  May and your daughter be blessed and comforted in this time of trouble.