Any advice about my 6 year old?

Question

This is all very new to me. My husband and I became instant parents 2 weeks ago when we gained custody of his brother's 6 year old daughter after he and his wife were killed in a car accident. Instead of starting out parenting with a brand new baby... we have to start out with a 6 year old who already knows so much and has such a distinct personality already. I guess what I'm looking for would be advice on ways to interact in playful, yet educational ways. What are somethings you do or did with your 6 year olds? She will be starting school in a couple of months and I'm so nervous. I want her to feel good there and know somewhat of what to expect.

Answer 1

The very best book ever written about child care is Dr.Spock's Baby and Child Care. You will refer to it many times. It is available at amazon.com

Ask your librarian about books for his age. Read to him every night. Encourage him to be curious about everything. Take him on outings to ball games, museums, zoos, and to the beach.

You are going to fall in love with this new member of your family.

Answer 2

COUNSELING.

Answer 3

The first thing you need to do with her is to establish a trusting, loving relationship with her.  That is more important than anything relating to her education.   She just lost her parents very suddenly, and in an extremely dramatic way, without any preparation.  She is probably shocked and grieving, even if she doesn't show it.

Spend as much time with her as possible.   Check out books on "attachment parenting."   Hug her and snuggle her (if she is willing) to let her know that she is loved.   Make her feel safe any way you can.  And give her opportunities to talk about her parents when she wishes.

Answer 4

Click on this link.....

http://www.raisingkids.co.uk/4_9/4_9.asp

Then down the side it says " Pregnancy and Birth " Click on age 4-9. Then it should show you some skills and stuff but look around and you should find more stuff.

Hope this helps

<3

Answer 5

Play games with them like tag etc.  invite some friends over but that might be a little shaky with them asking where her parents are and I am SOOOOOO SORRY FOR HER AND YOUR LOSS! <3

Answer 6

That's awful about her parents, but thank God she has you..

I have a 6 year old granddaughter right now...she loves to be read to, she's learning to read, so listen and help her there, ride her bike....plays on the computer...PBSkids, Nickelodeon, Disney.com....just be there, listen to her, don't belittle her because she's small...and just love her!

Answer 7

First, my heart goes out for your family. What a sad story, i'm glad she has a loving family that cares for her greatly.

all the above comments are great. So i'm going to quickly rephrase what everybody says, and add my own 2 cents.

Definitely make sure your new daughter is going to see someone. Counseling should be very helpful at expressing her feelings. I'd also talk to the professional, and see if you can do some group session with your husband, so your new daughter can feel like she can express her feelings to anyone she loves.

6 year olds are beginning to read, so read every night to her. Let her see the book, so she can start to read along with you. I'd suggest getting stick on magnets of words. So she can start to read the words and play games on the fridge. Stick on numbers can also teach math, colors, etc. There's lots of things you can do with magnets for the fridge.

Remember going to school is tough for anyone, especially for your new daughter due to her/your recent loss. I'd call the school and see if she can meet with the teacher. Also see if you can get the school to give the numbers of some of the other parents in the new class. Call the parents, explain what's going on, and see if you can set up a play date or something along those lines. It'd be alot easier if she knew the teacher, and had some friends already in the class.

Also get her excited about going to school, take her new clothes shopping, school supply shopping, etc.

There are some great educational websites out there. PBSkids, nickjr, etc.

I think the most important thing is to be open with her, let her express her feelings, and keep her busy. Summer is a great time, and there's lots of things to do with her.

I wish you the best of luck, and i hope my advice helps.

Answer 8

A child will be able to bond with you over simple things like eating a family meal together, taking her out to the park, spending time with her, and just listening to what she has to say. It can make her feel important and although it will be a hard adjustment for her she will come to love and trust you in time. Her personality may be distinct but it doesn't mean you can't try to make her happy. With her loss it isn't a surprise that she might feel distant from you in the first couple of weeks, along with being sad. Remember to give her space while trying to help her be happy by bonding. It's a balance of the two and if she is really sad about it find other things to distract her such as taking her out and doing something to get her mind off of it.

Answer 9

well, assuming that you are providing her help with coping with the death of her parents and all of that then all you really have to do is be supportive, loving, and provide a secure environment.  

Some of the things that most 6 year olds love to do are playing age appropriate games.   Things like Candy Land, Don't spill the beans, etc.   It also helps to reinforce family bonds between you, your husband, and your niece.

I know my daughter, she's 5, she loves movies and playing dress up games.   Try and discover what individual things she likes to do such as crafts or dolls.    

Some great ways to help get her ready for school are reading books to her about starting school or going to a new school.   Talk to her teachers about her situation.   Take her along to buy school supplies so she'll be excited about it.   Also talk to her about what to expect like if she will be taking the bus to and from school, talk to her about recess, talk to her about some of the kinds of things she'll be doing in school.   Then just try and keep up with what's going on by keeping open communication with her teachers and your niece.

Answer 10

i hope that you have her seeing someone to talk about her parents death. i also suggest you look in to a parenting workshop or a support group none can hurt and they may help

keep her life as simple and on schedule as possible if you are of faith let her speak to the pastor,minister, priest about heaven

little girls love crafts take her to visit their graves with trinkets she has made to leave for them

take her to the zoo, the park the mall keep her busy

buy her a special toy or such to have with her when she misses her parents

make her a book with pictures of herself mom and dad let her keep it close

just love her and  watch to make sure she feels safe

and good luck my heart reaches to all of you

there is a web site it applies to pets but could be adapted to your little girl

rainbowbridge.com

i am sure there are others for kids that have lost so much

Answer 11

This story just breaks my heart, and I will tell you as a parent, if something happened to my husband and I, I would want the guardians of my children to LOVE my kids most importantly.  Show love, physical love, hugging, snuggling, lots of it.  LISTEN, listen to what the child has to say, acknowledge feelings too.  If she's sad, say it's OK to be sad, it's a normal feeling, and then re-direct.  Then say, how about we go outside and watch the birds (nature is always calming) or go for a walk and count flower bushes or something like that.  It's the simple things.