Any advice for a mom with a Hyper Active child?

Question

My 4 year old daughter is extremely hyper active. She is extremely smart and much more advanced than the other children in her class which makes it even more difficult for us to manage. If this wasnt the case we would just have her evaluated for ADHD. But out of that she only seems to have the hyper activity part. She does very well in school, as she almost knows how to read. But at home she just refuses to follow our rules. It seems like she just doesnt listen. She demands explanations for everything and it is extremely frustrating to put her to bed every night since she comes up with a million little things that she demands of us to do for her and at the same time refuses to stay in bed. So every night we see ourselves losing our patience and yelling at her. I have tried everything that I could possibly think of....like negotiating....offering rewards for possitive behavior. But she seems to have no interest in cooperating. What can I do? I am hopeless....helpless and frustrated

Answer 1

Most doctors won't diagnose ADHD this young, but it is time to have a chat with her pediatrician. There are medical conditions that can present themselves as hyperactivity. If she gets a clean bill of health, ask for a referral to a behavior specialist - a counselor who will work with you and her to find the best system for all of you. Most health insurance will cover this.

Answer 2

My son has ADHD.  He also is a straight A student.  We have never experienced any oppositional behavior, he's a very obedient child.  However, he just can't stay still.  Waiting in lines is horrible.  It is also very hard to keep him focused.  He is easily overwhelmed in large groups or loud situations.  The school could test her for a variety of things.  If she shows a tendency toward ADHD or anything else you can take the test results to your pediatrician.  He can do further testing and direct you in the right direction.

Answer 3

cut out the sugar intake , i mean everything processed is full of sugars , from the fruity drinks to katchup to choc.milk , www.valeriesaxion.com click show notes then look for ADHD or ADD  or check on jordanrubin.com  both teach about these things and both seem to say if u take the child to a Dr they will put it on medicine , instead of just changing the childs diet can make a world of difference , also i give my children chamomile tea before bed it relaxes them and the rest so much better

Answer 4

She's NOT hyper active.  She is a NORMAL 4 year old.  Your problem is that you have no parenting skills, that's not your child's fault.  Of course she is going to want explanations, why should she do something just because YOU say so?  What if YOU told her to put her hand on a hot stove burner, should she do so just because YOU say so?  She is 4 years old...not 14, she has the mind and congnative powers of a CHILD not an adult.  Sounds like you don't have any bedtime routine no consistency and that is not her fault.  That is YOUR fault.  You need to set rules, you need to have a set bedtime routine, (bath, pjs, tooth brushing, to bed, tucked in, story and lights out).  I've never negotiated with any my kids, I have a set of rules, they either abide by them or they don't get privlieges.  I don't bribe and I don't give "rewards" to get them to behave.  I do praise their good behavior and I don't give undue attention to bad behavior.  You'd better get on track or you're really going to have problems later on.  I am a single parent with THREE kids, have never had any problems with mine.  Nope they're not perfect angels, but I know that discipline, consistency and patience  are needed to be a parent.

Answer 5

First it sound like you need to set a bedtime schedule and some guidelines.  If she is always asking for a glass of water etc, make sure that she gets it before bed.  My son also has a high IQ he is not hyper, but we had similar problems with him.  The important thing is to stay consistent.  If you say it's bed time, then it's bed time.  Whatever dicsipline style you and your husband use needs to be put in play.  If you take away toys or use time out, make sure you give her a warning, then follow through.  It may take a few days of frustration but it does work.  It is absolutely 100% important to mean what you say and never use idle threats.

You may want to find the book Parenting for the Strong Willed Child.  It help us a lot!!  We didn't go exactly by the book but it gave us a lot of insight.

It doesn't sound like the hyper activity is the problem.  I think with more consistency and patience you will see improvement.

Answer 6

from what you have described, she sounds normal. maybe a smart little handful, but not necessarily hyperactive?  she sounds like she is just challenging you for control and so far has been winning by getting a rise out of you.

try tougher discipline by making promises you will keep. for example, prepare her for bed covering all the bases - read, bathroom, teeth, drink etc.  explain to her that if she doesnt go right to bed no playdate tomorrow (or whatever will really mean something to her).  then you MUST follow through on your threat if she gets up.

be like this whenever she gets tough with you. it might take a week or 2 to see the results, but i think you might find that your daughter is just fine.

also - check her diet. some kids really cant handle artificial sweeters, high fructose corn syrups etc.  try cutting these ingred back and see if you find a difference in her behavior. it has been proven that these artificial sweetners act as a stimulant in some children.  

hope this helps

Answer 7

Stay firm, Children will go as far as you let them. She is old enough to understand what she is doing. Start taking away privileges. Consistency is the only way. do not reward for good behavior. That is what is expected of her. Yelling is also not the answer. If she knows she gets under your skin, then she'll keep doing it. Time outs are good. Keep putting her back if she gets up. Stay diligent! Too many children are misdiagnosed with ADD.

Answer 8

I have worked with children with similar issues. What seems to work is a consistent schedule and routine. Whatever you do, don't deviate from what you decide for her insofar as expectations and conseqences. Explain to her what you expect clearly and do so on a daily basis. It is like excerise; you have to do it everyday and the longer you wait, the harder it will be to change her behavior. Don't yell! Keep an even tone when speaking and reiterate your expectations. You have to stop offering rewards so much; award her through praise initially, then follow through by reading a book to her that she chooses as a transitional tool so that she will remain in bed. Also, try soft music like "Children Sounds". This should help.