Any advice from Military Girlfriends in the same situation?

Question

m dating a Guy in the Marines, and we had hung out for about a month before he left for japan that was back in March. I have known him all my life we grew up together his mom is my moms childhood best friend, But we hadnt kept in touch when we got older. When i saw him on st patricks day, and was reunited i couldnt believe my eyes, and felt an immediate attraction towards him. We hung out almost everyday up until he left and i had never felt so strongly about someone so quickly. Lately.. i have been feeling so sad and lonely. Its breaking my heart. I dont know how im going to feel when he does finally come back, which might be in december, january, or feb... or might be longer.. he doesnt really know when he is going to be able to take leave. Just somedays, i feel like i cant do this anymore.. and that hopeless feeling will last for a few days. Other days i feel like im on top of the world, when i get to chat with him online, or on a webcam.. the phone.. or even reading his letters.

The feeling was so strong for him, and we had just hung out for a month before he left..... its not like we were dating for a year or whatever and then he left. Sometimes i just dont know if i was being a fool.

Does anyone have any advice? Been in the same situation?

Thanks to anyone who can help<3

Answer 1

The best thing you can do is to keep busy.  Go out with your friends, get involved in sports or scrapbooking, some sort of hobby that keeps you from being so lonesome.  I know scrapbooking during deployments always helped me.  It gave me something to work on that would eventually be gifted to him so he could see what he&#039;s missed while he&#039;s been gone.  New haircuts, silly things but things none-the-less.  I did that with my dad as well.  Make plans for things to do, something to look forward to helps.  See if the two of you can find a halfway point between the States and Japan to visit...heck, Hawaii isn&#039;t too bad of a flight from his side of the world either :)

Keep your chin up hun.  It&#039;s hard but some of the hardest things we endure are the most worthwhile.  

There&#039;s also a website called sgtgrit.com if you go into the Bulletin Boards there is a wives/girlfriends/etc. post.

Answer 2

Ya it sucks... My man is deployed to Kuwait right now and it gets very lonely. We have been together for almost 3 years. I find that just keeping myself busy really helps with the mental freakouts. Just keep in contact with him and communicate. &quot;Absence makes the heart grow fonder&quot; kinda thing... It is hard but if you really care about him and he cares about you it all will work out.

Answer 3

My Heart is actually my best friend. He is amazing and we are actually at the beginning of our relationship.  I don&#039;t think feelings have a time limit to develop, when you love someone you just do. You can be around a person your whole life and never have &quot;that kind of connection&quot; so time isn&#039;t the point.  

It doesn&#039;t matter the time, what does your heart tell you. That is what matters most. Also, fear kicks in when the heart is at risk and it is always at risk when you give it or share it with another. Don&#039;t let fear stop you but do use wisdom.

It isn&#039;t easy loving a soldier. My SGT is in the sandbox as we speak. This is my first deployment experience and his. We are on our second month now. I don&#039;t even get to talk him every day anymore. I talk to him about once a week because where he is they don&#039;t have internet up yet or phone lines. It is his job to make that happen. So it is hard. It was excruciating the first month.  But I am adapting. Thanks to the wonderful advice of the wives,mothers, sisters, girlfriends,brothers, moms, and dads of  our troops and the troops themselves I have learned how to better cope with the constant miss. This site has helped a lot and their our sites for girlfriends of the troops which I lurk on now.

It helps knowing you aren&#039;t the only one going through the miss or ache. You aren&#039;t the only one scared and confused,angry or tired... etc.

I write my soldier through out the day as thoughts hit me and time permits. I can start a letter in the morning at class, resume it at work and finish it before bed.  I send him mp3 recordings talking to him about how I feel about him, or how my day has went. He does the same and I listen to them until I know them by heart. I buy cards in bulk...lol. I go to the dollar store and rack up on the 2 for a dollar cards and stickers. I put stickers on his envelopes and cards and boxes.  When I do these things it keeps me connected to him and I feel better. It  also keeps him connected to me because he sees I am still there for him. I send him either a card or letter everyday and sometimes both. You have to stay busy.

My soldier lets me know I keep him going there, so my job is to make sure he is comfortable and of sound mind. He is encouraged by my words. He needs them and I need to give them to him because I need to reach out to him as much as he needs me to.

It is hot and the work is hard. He is the one away from every one he knows and loves. So though I am dealing  with my own war here, he is the one that has it worst.  He is in a foreign place and he is the one that has his life on the line.   I let him know I miss him but I don&#039;t worry him because he has to stay focussed on the job at hand.

Maybe you can&#039;t do this and if you can&#039;t, it is okay. I just want you to know this, if he is good for you and good to you, that is priceless. The price you pay now may be building up your future.  I know in my case, my soldier is worth it. He is worth the tears and worth the sacrafice I make and I thank him for the sacrafice he makes for this country.

I wish you the best. It is hard being the girlfriend because we don&#039;t have the same rights by law as soldier&#039;s wives and there isnt a smuch support out there for us but there are women that identify with your struggle. Stay encouraged. Should you need to chat feel free to hit me up. As you can see I have loads to say.lol

Answer 4

try to find a support group - online or otherwise - for wives and girlfriends of men in the military.  There are a lot out there and my girlfriend in the same position joined one last year and it really helped her