Any advice on the verge of a break-up.?

Question

I've been engaged 1 year and w/ my fiance for 7 years. We been having troubles lately, he has been talking to a woman I am aware about but claims she is just a friend. FYI..he has cheated in the past w/ a friend so I have extreme trust issues w/ "friends". Anyway I overheard his conversation and he said he was getting off work early and was going to start w/ her, whatever that meant, but I didn't like it so I told him to get out (we own a home together) and sent some of his stuff w/ him.

Now he's upset that I put his stuff outside, even though he was right there to get it and only his friend (our neighbor) saw it. He left but came back 30 minutes later. And he won't talk to me...even though I wasn't the one on the phone!!!

Despite our drama I know he loves me and I love him and he hasn't given me any reason to doubt him, except this call. I had told him if we were going to make it work after he cheated I wouldn't tolerate any women, up to this point it been good and that's been over 3 years ago.

Any comments or advice?? Mature responses please and thank you!

Answer 1

Only you can really answer the question of if you will ever be able to fully trust him again.  It doesn't sound like it.  And relationships are built on a foundation of trust.  Tricky situation, but you might want to reevaluate where your relationship is headed.

Answer 2

Firstly, the trust issues.  You can choose to trust him, or choose not to.  It's your call, but if you choose not to, then it is common sense that he will react to your behaviour.

I would have been upset if it were my stuff put outside.  You didn't give him chance to explain the conversation, and for me that would be the starting point.  Asking him what "start with her" means, along with telling him how vulnerable you feel because of his previous misdemeanour.

Just because he has cheated in the past does not mean you can use it as a stick to beat him with every time you are hacked off.  You have to make the decision to get over it or move on.  Like you say, it has been three years, and it does sound like you have moved on... but are still feeling the insecurity.

Communication is the start... without it, it is the end.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Yea, don't marry him. Except in very rare cases, once a cheater always a cheater.

Dump him and find a man not a foolish child like him.

Answer 4

If you own a home jointly, get your most valuables out of there, he can come in the home and wreck everything and nothing can happen to him, because it is joint property. This happened to me with some stuff of mine and the police just laughed and said whatever.

Answer 5

He more than likely is cheating again, Dont let him turn this around on you.. If he cheated he needs to make sure you trust him and talking to another girls is doing just the oppisite. Sory but he sounds liike an insensitive jerk who has no respect for you. Never stay with a cheating partner or you will live a life of doubt and hurt when he does it again.

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Answer 7

Try councling. Anyone that loves eachother should have a last chance!