Any advise on 9yr old girl disrupting the class and bulling other kids.?

Question

This is my step daoughter that i have had since she was 2 yrs old.She has always been a very high spirited child that has always bucked the system.I know she knows how to act.she has been on add meds since the beginging of school.she has improved some but always go back to disrupting the class and bulling other students.It is always some one elses falt.i have tried the belt,taking away important things to always end up back to square one.I have always loved her like she is my own.I have wondered if this behavior is from the abandadement from her bio father has somthing to do with it.

Answer 1

Maybe she needs to goto social skill classes!  (Yes those do exist for people and children) Does she just have ADHD/ADD?  Maybe there is a more underlying problem!  The only way you're going to find out, is to go with her and talk with a professional counselor.

Answer 2

First of all you introduce her to us as your stepchild.  Maybe she has issues with that.  If you've raised her since she was 2, you are all she knows.  No abandonment issues.  You need to get a book about ADHD and read up.  My daughter too used to spend everyday in the office because she was disruptive.  This was until her medication was at a correct dose.  Please, read about it and understand her brain.  You can't belt her once you understand it.  It will do no good.  Try making her home life more organized.  Have routines that do not change from day to day.  Try the understanding approach, sympathize when she talks about how when she thinks "it's kinda like watching a TV show and daddy keeps changing the station to lots of differant shows".  But have rewards for good behaviors like chores and finishing homework.  But then the SAME consistant, I know whats going to happen if I do this, disipline.... that works for her.  Try to avoid the belts though.

Answer 3

maybe you need to tell her that other people haave feelings to, and they want to get on and learn and dont want to be bullied..

Answer 4

Kids that bully at school do so because they feel its the only place they can control others or their surroundings. She must have issues at home with her feelings and she is taking them out on others at school.

Answer 5

I would find a couple of movies on bullying and show her what its like ?it doesnt feel good hurts others feelings.Then I have always worked on the bribe system..

Im sure it is about her bio dad and abandonment she feels I would make sure i spent time with her(i know its hard but needs to be done to make her feel important )take 1 day a week four hours maybe and go to lunch ,picnic lunch and let her talk,get nails done,or movies ,make her feel as though shes important and worthy.Because he anger she shows towards others is coming from whats inside of her.

where is her mom?you said you are step mom?im sure she needs some counseling.

kids therapy group or youth group at church something like that would also work for her.

slowly but surely it should work it takes time and effort shes had a lifetime of pain its not going to work over night.

You are on the right track with taking important things away when she acts out.but you have to be firm and not back down ...shes looking for structure.good luck hard road!!

Answer 6

One thing you haven't done is stick with one thing. When you change punishments like that they realize your scared, and take advantage. Also they don't know what to expect. So pick one thing (I love time out at any age, but thats me) and stick with it. Also send her to school with a progress report. At the end of every day her teacher has to fill in how she behaved and what (if any) punishment was given as a result. Also talk to the teacher and let them know that you encourage them to enforce time out with her, and give her a few copies of the report so if your daughter for gets she has one ready to give. Kids learn early that teachers can't do much and as a result they walk all over the teacher. Anyway. When she gets home you look over the report, and every time she misbehaved she gets 10 mins time out, even if she got one at school. Also more serious things like bullying would get more time because thats worse behavior. This way she learns that rules apply every where and you will be punished for breaking the rules but both your teacher and your parent. I don't think it has anything to do with abandonment because she was really young, and may not remember a lot. It sounds more like a kid thing that is easily handled.

Answer 7

there is a good chance that thats what it is...because i went through the same things like tht when my mom's bf was a f*****! he lived with us and my dad had a drug problem and went to rehab twice before my mom and him got back together.