Any comments on this dark poem?

Question

Dark Passage

Where is she?

They searched and searched

to no avail,

the whole neighborhood had failed

when finally she showed; stood

innocently with a glowing childhood tale

of carved tree trunks in the wood.

Lest he honor the awful terror

still lodged firmly beneath it,

that grim knot of anger in his gut

demanded release.

All he knew to do was lash out,

striking blow after blow

on tender skin;

so neither of them

would ever know such fear again.

Answer 1

Pretty good poem. As you said, it is dark though.

Answer 2

Very well done!

Answer 3

A tale of love and fury.  Unfortunately, such memories live with us forever. A very emotional poem, straight-forward and graphic.

Answer 4

That's what a scared parent can do - especially the guys. My dad was close to doing it a few times. ♥

Answer 5

interesting, i like it, it lost me for a second and then i caught up,. i'd like it to be a little longer and maybe some better imagery ,but overrall i dig it

Answer 6

answer my question n tell me what you think of my dark unfinished poem

Answer 7

More beautiful than beautiful.

It is Wonderful.

Answer 8

I'm afraid I don't get it -  What does the awful terror represent ?

Did she have sexual intercourse with someone

Carved tree trunks in the wood - what does this metaphor mean? Well tree trunks are usually straight so if they are curved this is something different and unusual.  The tree is something natural and the act of carving is man-made - could this symbolize the girl's loss of natural purity and innocence to a man

who has "carved" her soul, stained it by impregnating her ?

Answer 9

wow.

Answer 10

Waoh...   Everyone submiting poems to this category should read this poem..     I want imagery not just rhyming words..  

Brilliant!   good work!!

Answer 11

The worst spanking I ever got was for leaving my yard, not telling my mother and getting back after dark.  A powerful poem about that universal terror hiding in the hearts of parents.

Answer 12

i think this poem is very powerful!!!it really speaks to me this symbolism is great!!you seem lke a great writer but also like youre in pain, by pain i dont necessarily mean physical i mean internal!!!but the poem is great great!!

Answer 13

intense.