Any foster parents been falsely accused of something and almost lost your own children?

Question

We have been foster parents for two years now and have been told by DSS that we were some of their "top foster parents". We have had 15 children in and out of our home in that time. We love being foster parents, and plan on adopting one of the little boys that has been with us for 14 months.

Anyway, Monday DSS came and removed two foster boys from our home, leaving our adopted daughter and the little boy we are in the process of adopting. They would not tell us anything, we have since found out they received a "referal" against us but they will not tell us what it is. They have also threatened that if we don't "watch our p's & q's" that they will take our two children that remain with us. We HONESTLY have done nothing wrong, and are certain that this is something against us because we are Christians. Just curious if anyone else has been through this...

Please no haters!

Answer 1

I think it was very wise of you to obtain a lawyer.  I would also encourage you to record the session when the investigator enters your home. Ask your lawyer about this.....it is YOUR home and as long as your not taping anything  inappropriate you will be fine. DSS is doing what it has to....if they got a referral they have to act on it to protect the children. Unfortunately some people will report you to DSS for other reasons. It happens all the time. Several years ago the bio father of our DD reported us when the court halted his visitation rights because of the outcome of his psychological evaluation. He did this on the instruction of his attorney.

There was an investigation and DSS found out about the court order. The attorney found herself in allot of hot water.

The first thing is know your rights!!!

Answer 2

A major part of your training as a Foster Parent should have included Documentation.....

We have two adopted foster children and been in this situation for over 5 years.... WE ARE AN OPEN BOOK.... we make our own referrals when there are situations that need to be documneted... We understand that it is FAR better to be the ones to keep the contact Open with children's services...

My daughter WAS abused in her Foster Home and there were referrals from outsiders.... These referrals Did NOT change the situation for her...and were all swept under the rug and attempted to be hidden from us....

As parents of High Risk children the Worst thing to do is Get Out of the System.... My daughter has behaviors that WILL result in our loss of not only her but, her younger brother IF we do not handle them correctly....

With every revolation of these specifically concerning events our transparancy has had to become more interactive with DHS....  

The Worst thing parents with Foster Children or Adopted Foster children can do is Isolate and pretend the have things under control... If you have not Reported EVERY single bruse or injury of a Foster Child in your care to the caseworker then you have not kept your obligation....

For example Home Schooling Might be Great and might be the way a parent would like to teach their children.... However, when we adopt or Foster Home Schooling might not be the SAFE (for us) way to teach them.... The implications if there were to be a referral are isolation.

I recommend that any parent of a Foster Child adopted or not keep great documentation of everything and MAKE sure there are people breathing down our necks at all times....

I have called the police when I have needed to document something... Like the time I was beaten by my child and in order to escape "put her off of me" which she responded to by over reacting and playing as if I had taken a bat and beaten her.... I have asked the police to come to our home and take a report of the incodent so that in the future this incocent did not turn out to be one for which I could not defend...

I have called CPS when I found my daughter pulling her brothers pants down.... I made the report myself rather than have someone outside get word and report it....I notified the school as well and when they Tried to turn us in CPS already was aware of the details...

I also keep an online--time stamped--report of our lives and the issues that may come back to hurt us or cause us to lose her little brother....

I KEEP the doctors up to date about ANYTHING that might later be an issue... When My kids need stiches I make the report to the doctors, therapists and school about when or why my kid needed stitches...

When My adopted daughter feel on her bike pedal and hurt a personal area I took her right to the emergency room and made it clear that I wanted this injury documented and her report of what happened documented on the medical record... I would NOT have taken my older daughter to the ER I would have checked her myself and decided if her personal area needed treatment....

Five years into Adoption and we still have CPS in our lives... Moved to a New State and instantly made contact with our new state CPS Adoption Unit and opened a file...Specifically for the purpose of documenting everything...

The phone rings occasionally due to a neighbor report or school referral and it is the Adoption Unit contact who follows up with me... I am an open book...

If you treat CPS like they are the enemy they will be...because anyone doing the Right Things would view CPS as their first and last most importnat place to keep things on the up and up....

In my state this was and is part of the training foster parents an adoptive parents get... Document and Open Book...

CPS is not an adoption agency thier interest is in protecting the children... Just because we complete a process to adopt a child in no way means CPS is no longer an important part of our obligation....

Answer 3

Were the boys brothers?  Maybe one - or both- of them said something that wasn't exactly true, which could have resulted in their removal from your home.  Some foster children have been through so much and many times they end up re-living the things that have happened to them in the past even if they aren't happening now.  Check out Reactive Attachment Disorder.  If you didn't do anything wrong then try not to worry, I know that's easier said than done.  

Best of luck to you and your family.  I hope the children's best interest is met.

Answer 4

I'll probably get some p**p for this, but I gotta say I think it's about time that a child protection department stuck up for kids. I suffered ALOT of abuse at the hands of my foster parents, and nobody would ever believe me.

Now that being said, if they took away children from your home, you should have every right to know exactly what the allegations are. No different than when child protection enters a regular parents home, they have a right to know what the allegations are against them. You should also have the right to defend yourself against those allegations and upon righting the situation have the children returned to you.

Answer 5

I highly doubt it's because you are Christians, unless your the super strict beat your kids in the name of Christ kind of Christians. (You know that type exhibits too.)  Have you thought about just talking to a lawyer? I'm assuming a lawyer is helping you with the adoption of the youngest you still have, talk to the lawyer.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Hang in there, we have not been through it but know of people that have and some that are actually going through it at this moment...crazy enough the ones that we know have been through this have all been Christians...pretty strong ones too.

Answer 7

They should tell you why and what the referal against you was.. I don't think its the Christian thing.. It's probably something like someone got mad at you and turned you in and DSS is listening to the reports more

And on a side note, I am sure your good people, but seeing foster children abused and DSS did nothing, in MS. I am hoping they start taking things more seriously everywhere

Answer 8

DDS or CPS can not enter your home & remove your children without your permission.  Hopefully, your lawyer can provide some guidance and if they threaten to take away your children they are in the wrong but unfortunately that tactic works for them.