Any foster parents out there having issues with the process of terminating parental rights?

Question

We are fostering three children from the same mother. The kids were 7 weeks, 13 months and 28 months when they came to live with us over 2 years ago. To them, we are their parents, especially the youngest. Our problem is the way that social services goes about terminating rights. The mother has had numerous chances and has blown them all. She is supposedly on her last chance, but has already violated the terms of that "chance." However, the only witnesses are now three and four years old. This is supposed to be the last straw. We are frustrated, angry, sad, and a whole lot of other things right now. Is anyone else out there in a simialr situation? Anyone been through it? How did you fare?

Answer 1

I hate to say this, but probably EVERYONE that has gone through this process has a long horrible story to tell.

The legal representatives are the main part of the problem.  Do these children have a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL)assigned?  Getting one my help in the long run.

One of our children was "fast tracked" into adoption (to us) planning after 4 months of mother failing.  Even though we knew baby was ours and TPR wasn't contested, it took 2 years.  Court system & DCFS handles these cases in the most ridiculous fashion.

Document all violations any way you can (pictures, doctors, psychologist interview, etc) and show up for the hearings & meetings.  GALs are great and bringing this info directly to judges, bypassing DCFS.

Good luck with your little ones!

Answer 2

OMG, where do I start?  I have had one who has been with us for almost 2 years...in the system for 5, normal TPR takes what...three court hearings...we have been going through one since SEPT of 06!  An appeal was filed with the supreme court 5 months ago (which means no continuing with the TPR until it's been heard)...that appeal has been just recently cancelled / not going to be heard or whatever and we still have no clue on when we are going to go back to court!  The system sucks!  This child has already been moved back home only to be taken again and what's sad is it's only NOW that the TPR has been filed that parent's are doing what they are supposed to be doing!

Answer 3

Social Services will never tell you this, but you can get an attorney, and you can be represented in court! I just found this out from my foster agency. My worker told me that CPS will never tell foster parents that, but you can absolutely have an attorney represent you at hearings, and you can even petition the court for custody so that YOU have custody and not the state. Additionally, you can petition the court to terminate rights, and petition to adopt once that is done. GET A LAWYER.

Answer 4

I think it will be clear to everyone involved that the mother doesn't want these children. She must have drug and alcohol issues, or she would have shown up for something by now. Rest assured that even if she wanted the children back, she probably wouldn't get them.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Yes.

My child's birth mother abandoned him at birth. But it still took 4 years to get parental rights terminated.

The ONLY comfort is that while it was a huge stressor for me, it wasn't for my child. He was with me, in the only home he knew. All the courtroom c**p was happening without his knowledge or involvement.

Hang in there. Things do have a way of working out eventually.

Answer 6

I can understand where you are coming from.  We are foster parents of a 7 months old baby boy whom we picked up from the hostpital as a newborn.  The birthmother has lost her 3 other children years ago, with no chance to get them back.  She has severe mental issues, and this little boy is a special needs baby.  We have told DSS that we would love to adopt him and give him the forever home that he deserves, but Birthmom keeps getting more and more chances.  She doesn't show up to visits, court hearings, and she keeps getting taken to the hospital for fake sicknesses that she is making up in her head.  She cannot even take care of herself, let alone a special needs baby.  DSS keeps saying, we have to give her resonable effort, in my mind this little boy needs to be in his forever home with no worries of ever having to leave!

Good Luck...it is a very difficult, frusterating situation.  I just pray that everyone could start thinking of the kids!

Answer 7

i am going through this now with my nephews. depending on where you live, you have to have someone that nows the situation and is willing to testify against the mother. if the caseworker is aware and not doing anything then go over him/her head. there is always someone that has more power then the next.

they may not like the fact that you went over their head but if they were doing their job then they wouldn't have to worry about it.

do the children live with her now or are they still living with you?

Answer 8

The children should have a legal representative and that person should be pushing for TPR. You could also hire your own lawyer to help you try to adopt them. Either way, I would suggest looking up the Adoption and Safe Families Act and try to find out why it is not being followed in this case, as it is a federal law.

Answer 9

OMG you sound like the most pathetic person in the world, and desperate for these babies since you can't have any of your own, this is sick and heartbreaking to me that you are not more interested in getting this family back together in a safe and supportive way then what you are in breaking it apart and stealing this ready made family for yourself, grow up this only makes for an ugly world and you will pay enough for this soon enough when you must meet your maker and give an accounting for all of this.