Any funny story joke kinda things?

Question

I really wanna hear some funny stories. I have heard so many and i need some news ones! i dont have any criteria or anything, but here is an example of the kind of thing i want:

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail within 3 minutes!"

Now give me some!

Answer 1

A young college kid was up studying allll night because his professor was giving him a huge test on all the birds in the U.S..

When the college kid walked into class that morning he was surprised to see all the birds' heads were covered up revealing only the legs. The kid hadn't studied the birds by their legs!!? The more he thought about it the angrier he got. Finally he stood and stomped up to the professor and slammed his test down in front of him. "This is ridiculous! No one can identify birds by their legs!" he screamed. And began to walk out.

The class was so big that the professor wasn't for sure who the kid was. The professor hollared back, "Hey what's your name?" The kid turned around grabbed his pant legs, pulled them up and said, "YOU TELL ME PROFESSOR, YOU TELL ME!"

Answer 2

a boy wanted to grow a red dot on his head then suddenly it came out.

what happened to the boy

he died (by a sniper rifle) (he was an indian boy)

you get it????

Answer 3

I don't understand

Answer 4

funny!!!!