Any help on potty training a 4.5 year old girl? Shes been to the dr and checked out fine after many tests.?

Question

She the 2nd child her sister is 5.5 and never had any issues. We have tried cutting fluids off before bed and punishing her. The shrink thinks we should try giving more attention to the older child and telling the younger (peeing her pants) that she can do funner things when she grows up and quits her peeing. We havent tried that yet. Shes very attached to her dolls (called babies) and i think she wants to stay a baby. We all know babies pee their pants...What do you think? Is this normal? Any suggestions to help her and us?

Answer 1

Are you putting her in undies or letting her wear pull ups?  This makes a huge difference.  If she is in a pull up, a pull up is a diaper, because it looks, acts, and feels like one to her.  So of course she is going to do in that as she has done in diapers for the last four years.  If she is in undies all the time and still peeing and pooping her pants, there could be a problem with her (psychologically, emotionally, physically) or with your consistency in helping her train.  I agree with the doc, I would give the older child attention for her good behavior and that might be enough to make the little one try to follow in her footsteps.

Answer 2

I am in the same boat.  My 4.5 year old daughter has no interest in the potty either.  We have tried everything from star charts to sitting in the bathroom for hours on end.  Her doctor says to wait it out and she will get it.  It is killing me though!  My older daughter who is 10.5 was totally potty trained at 2.5 years old.

Answer 3

Lots of good ideas already but you need to sit down with her and tell her what is expected of her.  Then let her know that every time she pees her pants that she will be responsible to clean herself up and put clean clothes on.  Then she will have to put her wet clothes in the laundry room.  It's possible that she's looking for attention. Ignoring her and favoring the older child is not the way to avoid giving her the attention she may be looking for.  It's totally wrong and will only make things worse. She may even start acting up if that will give her any attention.  She needs positive reinforcement when she uses the potty.  That's the way to give her attention.  Don't let her wear pull ups or diapers!!  She is a big girl and needs to go potty like a big girl.  Regarding the fun underwear with princesses and the like...make those a reward for staying dry!!

Answer 4

Now, please be aware that I'm not a mother, but a big sister of soon to be seven, so I have PLENTY of experience with potty training.

I would say it's pretty normal. Some take longer to train than others... But, of course, at her age, that could be a problem; she's going to start school soon, isn't she? You could probably encourage her that way, with thoughts of school and such. You could tie that in with the shrink thing too - I take it your oldest is already in school? Have your oldest help by talking about the fun things that happen in school (if she likes it!) with the struggling younger daughter, saying that all these fun things can only happen if she's potty trained.

Maybe you should buy her toddler dolls. I know of some dolls on the market now that come with little toy potties... You could show her how they go to the restroom with those dolls! Then, if she uses the potty, give the dolls to her as a reward.

Is she afraid of the toilet? The flushing sound scared my little brother for a while, but then he got used to it. He had to use one of those potty seats for a while, though. You might want to use one of those and then "upgrade" your daughter to the bigger toilet when she's ready. They're only about fifteen to thirty dollars, the ones I've seen.

Some kids are excited at the thought of underwear - take her shopping for some undies that have some of her favorite characters on them. My younger sister has some with Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella and Hello Kitty, and my younger brother has some with the Teen Titans, Spiderman and Batman on them. Many of these come in packs of three or five; look at Walmart and Target for them.

But, you know, if all else fails, then you should be a bit more forceful with her. Take away her privileges and material possessions if she refuses to get trained - my mom had to do that with me. I got so mad at her for taking away my bunny I threw a whole box of Q-Tips in the toilet and flushed it multiple times! ^-^''

Good luck. Potty training is a long, hard road, isn't it?