Any ideas on how to safeguard this fear ?

Question

present situation :

i live in a one bedroom flat in the north of england , on disability benefits, i own nothing except an old computer - got no carpets on my floor, a shabby bed etc. i suffer with borderline personality disorder and post traumatic stress - im waiting to hear if i will get group therapy ; my main problems are severe low self worth , rage and aggression and aggraphobia and anxiety, i have social problems forming friendships or relationships with people.

about my history :

ive had a severe hard life, suffered severe abuse, bullying , victimisation, bad times , assaults , head injuries , homelessness , time in a psychiatric hospital , over a time span 0f 16 years , since the age of 16.

ive missed out on most things in life people take for granted : forming any relationships with anyone . never been employed , spent all my life on disability , never got an education , never got any qualifications.

the time is coming where i will have to travel out to group therapy which is quite far from me , i will have to have to travel out everyday to it when it starts, - so i will be away from my apartment all day.

i dont own much as ive already said, except an old, dusty computer , which is my prize possession - to me its a connection a lifeline to the outside world.

i dont live in the roughest area , plus i live on the 3rd floor, all my neighbours seem ok , but i have this reoccuring fear of what if while im out , away from my apartment , that im BURGLED and my computer stolen ?

this worry is freaking me out and if it happened, i feel it would tip me over the edge into suicide .

the thought of losing everything on my computer, my contacts, important info , notepads with important things written in them, all my pictures and videos , friends emails , contacts, messenger addresses , etc etc , and everything else.

and now its getting to the stage where ill be leaving my apartment regularly and all day, im worrying more.

my computers is everything , a lifeline to the outside world in everyway and its freaking me out , what if it was stolen ?

like i said i dont live in a rough area but theres still louts around, and once again if this was to happen and my computer taken from me , i would surely end it.

i couldnt handle losing everything, all that important stuff.

my question is : does anyone know of anything i could do to safe guard this happening ?

a clever way to back everything up ? any gadgets i could buy to clone everything on my computer so i could take it with me where i travel ?

so all id have to do is transfer everything to another computer ?

any other clever procedures ? so in the unfortunate situation i was burgled id have all my info backed up somewhere else ?

btw i dont own any laptops, im poor on disability , but i do own an external harddrive , is there anything i could do with that ?

how could i backup everything in my computer so if i got burgled i wouldnt lose all the important info ?

could you possibally give instructions ?

Answer 1

Yeah, get a zip drive available at any computer store and just copy all of your data to it, they're not too expensive and pretty small - the one I have is the size of a Blackberry phone.  Keep all of your contacts phone numbers & adresses in your e-mail contacts, what's on line cannot be erased if anything happens to your computer.  Same goes for photos - my sister stores all her photos on line (there are many different websites where you can upload them and for a very small yearly fee keep them there).  That way they'll never be lost because of a burglary or even a house fire.  But most importantly, beware of what you download, especially the free stuff - you're more likely to lose all your data because of a computer virus rather than a burglary - especially if you live in such a humble way.  Burglars usually go for flats that they know contain some good merchandise and valuables and when they know the owners are away.  They're not likely to break into a flat of a guy who lives on disability and who has such few posessions unless you look like you have a million bucks and attract alot of attention to yourself. So relax, but definitely get the zip drive - the people at the store will tell you how to connect it - it's pretty easy.  Good luck.  Oh, and concentrate on making some friends in your group therapy - having people to talk to really will make your life happier and make you less attached and reliant on your computer.  Don't cut yourself from the world - you've had some pretty tough times but the good chapter of your life could start tomorrow - so don't cling to the bad times and give it a chance!

Answer 2

I know you realize you are putting all your eggs into one basket here.

aka all of your time, energy, faith, love, security is established into your computer

You are very aware of your surroundings, emotions, your roots and your fear.

Since you are more aware than most, you have the control here.

People that let their fears consume them have no clue as to where their is steming from

I understand that your computer is your main source of connection, since you lack connections elsewhere.

But I think that you should start planting your "time, energy, faith, love, security" into other things.

Pretend your computer got stolen. Its gone. You've lost it and no what are you going to do?

You should think about preparing a "safeguard" for your body and mind.

Since you say you would be borderline suicide if your information got lost, I think that your life is more important than your email addresses.

I am not meaning to sound insensitive about the worth of your computer. Not at all. I believe that if you are able to fan your time and energy into other things (which may urge you out of your comfort zone) then the hypothetical situation of your computer getting stolen, wouldn't hold your life in the balance.

You are in control here. Remember that.

I wish you luck

~Kayla

"Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts."

-Soren Kierkegaard