Any ideas what i could put in a speech I'm writing for Christmas day?

Question

Any ideas what i could put in a speech I'm writing for Christmas day?

Answer 1

tell your guests about your "horrible a**s" as youve done before im sure this will delight your followers

Answer 2

Open with this joke:

"Before you start that turkey you bought, i want £4 for every tiny bone you find in it!"

*no body laughs*

"Joking!!"

"Hey i got a joke for you, watch me squeeze my thigh together and ill make hard earned tax payers money come out"

Answer 3

How about deciding to abdicate?  Most 81 year olds are retired.

Answer 4

Happy Christmas.Dont make it too long,I want my dinner.

Answer 5

Try this. Monarchy is a concept that belongs in the past. Don't you all think we'd be better off living in a truly democratic country, a republic with an elected head of state?

Just an idea.

Answer 6

Do a Di Joke, she's been dead 10 years so it'll be funny

Answer 7

Open with a joke.

Answer 8

Maybe a little sing song with some rappers would make a change.  A

Answer 9

A blessing for your people and for your whole country ...when God is present ...everything goes start and end well...

Answer 10

smoke one of harrys special ciggys and it will come flowing

Answer 11

Abolish all religion then we may all live in peace for once!!!!

Answer 12

I think Ma'am it might be a good idea to let people know whether you intend continueing as monarch orare you going to abdicate in favour of Charles. There are some very odd rumours flying around these days.

Answer 13

Yes tell the "WORKING" people you are going to make next year a "TAX  FREE" one, and make us all happy :-)

Answer 14

same as always M'am you do very well~

Answer 15

Just talk about the late and lovely Princess Diana and her best friend Rory Emerald.

Answer 16

Keep it short and to the point Mam, I like to watch the Eastenders Christmas special and have my turkey dinner by about 4pm. Also you could have Philip on screen as well with you, he is a bit of a loose canon so could be fun!