Any incorrect words in this writing? Thank you~~?

Question

Q:

In some countries government put industries and business from big city to regional area or rural area. Discuss disadvantages and advantages.

Answer: para 2

The advantages are visible for it can not only expand the city by establishing new business centres but also smooth the over-crowded in old centres. Inhabitants are the key element in expanding cities. When thousands of businessmen moved from the old centre to the new one, the city has expanded automatically—apartments, shopping centre, transportation facilities are built in the new area. At the mean time, the crowded situation in the real estate, shopping and transport in the old centre will be resolved accordingly.

Answer 1

No spelling mistakes that I can see, but I would phrase a couple of things differently.

The advantages are clear, for it can not only expand the city by establishing new business centres, but also smooth the over-crowding in old centres. Inhabitants are the key element in expanding cities. When thousands of businessmen moved from the old centre to the new one, the city has expanded automatically—apartments, shopping centre, transportation facilities are built in the new area. At the mean time, the crowded situation in the real estate, shopping and transport in the old centre will be resolved accordingly.

That's what I think.

Answer 2

No, but u could of just done spell check u kno...

Answer 3

The advantages are visible; not only will expansion establish new business centres, but it will also smooth the over-crowded areas in the old centres. Ultimately though, inhabitants are the key element in expanding cities. When thousands of businessmen moved from the old centre to the new one, the city expanded automatically: apartments, shopping centre, transportation facilities were built in the new area. Also, the crowded situation in the real estate, shopping and transport in the old centre would be resolved accordingly.

PS: BUY A GRAMMAR BOOK AND START EDITING YOUR OWN ESSAYS! If these parts are in order, I would say you need to learn to edit and revise immediately... there is a lack of flow between each paragraph I've read and you're also extremely verbose, making thing unnecessarily wordy.