Any jokes or riddles out there?!?

Question

Any kind will do! If it's a riddle, please make sure there's an answer. Thanks.

Answer 1

Check this one out:

http://common-sense-conservative.com/?pa...

Answer 2

A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint of beer and a packet of crisps,

the barman says

"wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus"

then the dog says

"why? do they need electricians?"

I think that's one of the funniest jokes ever!

Answer 3

How do you make a clown stop laughing?

Hit him in the face with an axe.

What's the difference between a truckload of sand and a truckload of dead babies?

You can't empty a truckload of sand with a pitchfork.

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Elephino. (h**l if I know)

What has two wheels and flies?

A dead cripple.

A baby seal walked into a club

A cannibal passed his mother in the woods

A little girl and a serial killer were walking in the woods. The girl says "Gee mister, these woods sure are spooky." The killer replies "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here alone."

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew the lightbulb.

Answer 4

Three couples went out camping.  The three husbands stayed in one tent and the three wives stayed in the other. At about 3 in the morning, Bob woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelievable!"

Bill woke up and asked, "What's going on?"

Bob said, "I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife."

"How come?"

"To have s*x! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my life!"

After a pause, Bill said, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"h**l, no! Why would I want you to do that?"

"Because that's mine you're holding."

Answer 5

What do you call a 13 yr. old rabbit..........a pubic hare.......

Answer 6

1.) If June is windy, the days should be stormy.

2.) If someone is lazy, tell this: "What are you waiting for, Christmas?

3.) There were men named Crazy, Nobody  Somebody. Then Crazy witnessed a murder. And reported it to the police. He said, officer! I saw NOBODY killed SOMEBODY and SOMEBODY killed  NOBODY! And then the police said "are you crazy?!

And crazy said "yes! I'm crazy!

Answer 7

knock knock. whose there? justin. justin who? JUST IN TIME FOR ME TO TELL YOU YOURE A DUMBASS!!  

Answer 8

What do you get when you cross a L*****n and a dinosaur?

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A lickolotapus!